Twisted: Charming High
by poeticallyflawed
Summary: This is the full story of Jax and Tara's high school years, based on my one-shot series Twisted: Jax and Tara the Younger years. Rated M for mature themes, language and sexual content, if you're lucky. Reviews motivate me!
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** **So, I haven't posted in a long time because I've been struggling to pull the pieces together into a specific timeline that works. I'm going to start over again, but figured if I got some feedback it might inspire me a little more. This starts a new story, so you might see this chapter pop up again somewhere else soon. All credit to KS. **

Reluctantly stepping off the bus, I stared at the faded brick high school. The cool autumn breeze screamed at my bare skin sending an involuntary shiver up my spine. Well, at least I assumed it was the breeze. It could've just been my unease at returning to "regular" school after being an outcast, both literally and figuratively, for so long.

I'd spent the tail end of my eighth grade year in and out of juvie, reserving me a prolonged stint in Charming's alternative school, Steel Alternative. One of my coach's had fought to keep me out of the "bad" school, but all that resulted in was her ultimately getting fired. The school board wanted to make an example out of me and no one could stand in their way. Gotta' love small town politics. After finally getting off of house arrest near the end of summer, I was eventually allowed to return to the well behaved general population with the rest of my peers.

While most people might be excited to return to the land of the living, as we'd called it at Steel, I was anything but excited. Any friends I'd had before weren't allowed to hang out with a "troublemaker" like me anymore and I'd lost touch with nearly everyone. Though I'd kept in touch with my Steel friends, I was pretty much alone in my grand entrance to Charming High.

As I made my way up the stairs to the breeze way, I felt a million beady eyes on me. I'd never enjoyed being the center of attention, but hated even more how easily I'd been misunderstood. Sure I'd gotten in a lot of fights, and sure I'd started hanging with a rougher crowd well beyond my age group, but it seemed like everyone conveniently forgot the path that led me there. It escaped them that my father was a violent drunk and the mother who fiercely defended me had died tragically years prior.

I took a deep breath forcing my mother from my thoughts. She was gone and it did me no good to dwell. I am where I am because of me, not her. I made my choices, and I had to deal with that.

I was relieved to see Kristina waiting near the entrance. She was one of the few people who actually stuck by my side over the years and I loved her endlessly for that. More than anyone, she understood what I'd been through, what I was currently going through, and she didn't give a damn what anyone else thought about me, or of her for being friends with me for that matter.

As I approached, Kris wrapped me in a welcoming hug. "Welcome back, stranger" she laughed.

I laughed back, waving her off. "Yeah, yeah. I'm back, big deal" I said rolling my eyes at her enthusiasm.

"It _IS _a big deal" she insisted. "You don't know the people I've had to eat lunch with while you were off enjoying yourself in alternative school".

"I don't know that I'd call it 'enjoying' myself" I laughed. "But I guess it's good that at least someone's glad I'm back" I smirked at her.

"Oh, fuck them. You never gave a shit about what anyone else thought anyway, why start now?"

I shrugged, conceding her point. I really didn't give a shit what anyone else thought in the long run. I planned on just burying my head in a book and minding my own business this year. My probation officer had made it pretty clear that if I did anything but that, I risked some serious repercussions.

I could sense the students passing by giving us a wide berth. Though I was only a lowly freshman, it was pretty clear that my criminal dalliances were widely known, even amongst the upper classmen. I registered the hushed tones and stares as we made our way to the two-story building on campus.

"So I guess I'm the talk of the school now, huh?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"You mean talk of the _town_?" she corrected flippantly. "Well, it's not every day a 13 year old _girl_ from Charming goes to juvie for bashing someone's head into a picnic table" Kris replied nonchalantly, as if it fazed everyone but her. Truth be told, it probably didn't faze her. Her family had its own streak of violence running through their blood.

Again, all I could do is shrug. "I guess you're kinda right" I sighed. It was going to be a long year if everyone was going to insist on making me the focal point of their gossip.

Kris slowed as we neared her first class. "Well, this is my stop, Tara. You think you can make it a whole class period without kicking someone's ass?" I couldn't tell if she was serious or not, but I obliged her anyway.

"I'll be fine, Kris. You worry too much."

"I still can't believe you're in all honors after everything that went down" Kris shook her head in disbelief.

I just laughed. "What can I say? Fighting doesn't make you stupid. I actually did even better in school when I was locked up" I replied proudly, winking at her as I turned to walk toward my first class.

"I'll see you at lunch!" she hollered behind me. I just waved my hand in response.

xoxoxox

"Miss Knowles, so good of you to join us" Mrs. Timberland greeted me as I quietly closed the door behind me.

I looked at her, slightly confused. "Am I late?" I asked, not sure why she'd chosen to address me in that tone. "The second bell hasn't rang yet, has it?" I questioned, looking up at the clock hanging above the ancient looking chalkboard, certain that I wasn't tardy.

I saw her eyes full with unwarranted reproach. "No, no, not yet, just cutting it a little close, aren't we?" she replied with an undercurrent of disdain.

I was starting to feel like there had been a teacher work day specifically regarding my return to the general population. I chose to keep my mouth shut and just shrugged in response, turning my eyes toward the rows of desks in front of me, many still empty. There was no point in getting written up on the first day. I had a whole year for that, I thought sarcastically.

As I stepped further into the classroom, I heard a deep, husky voice come from the back of the class.

"Well if it isn't Rocky herself. The finally let your little bad ass outta lockup, huh?"

I instantly recognized the voice of Harry Winston. I smiled to myself. I'd always got on well with Winston. I'd dated his friend Jax Teller off and on through the years and, though that relationship had crashed and burned many times over, Winston had always stayed neutral and hadn't shunned me like the rest of the school when my legal problems started to rear their ugly head.

I looked up and he gestured toward the empty seat next to him. I wondered silently if he realized associating with me would make him into a grade A social pariah. He must've sensed my hesitance because he quirked his head to the side, eyeballing me.

"I won't bite" he laughed, somewhat confused by my reluctance. I'm sure it was strange that I didn't immediately welcome his friendliness, considering I hadn't received much of that over the last couple of years.

I slowly walked toward the back of my class, dropping my ton of books on the small square desk top. I sank into the ragged metal seat as Winston leaned toward me, elbows bracing him on the desk.

"Long time no see, Knowles. Looks like you're already getting a warm welcome from everyone" he joked, nodding his head in Mrs. Timberland's direction.

"Oh, you know me. I just elicit warm fuzzies from everyone" I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Well, I'm sure Jax will be happy to see you" he retorted, cocking a curious eyebrow at me.

"Ha, I'm not so sure about that, Winston. You were there the last time. In case you forgot, it wasn't very pretty." To be honest, I'd thought about Jax here and there, wondered how he was. The last time we'd seen each other we'd had a blow out of epic proportions and hadn't spoken since. To say things ended on a sour note was an understatement.

"Oh, I don't know Tara…it's been awhile… I'm sure he's ready to be On again" he laughed, winking at me.

I rolled my eyes again, an automatic response to anything me and Teller related. "I wouldn't be so sure, Harry." I laughed, remembering the volatility of that old flame. Though I'd never admit to holding a tiny candle for him, that was one relationship that had burned out in a fiery explosion and was well beyond resurrection. We both had far too many issues of our own to be burdened with the others'.

A Cheshire grin crept across Winston's face as he shrugged, resigned for now. "If you say so." He mouthed mischievously as Mrs. Timberland cleared her throat to start class.


	2. Chapter 2

The rest of the morning passed uneventfully. Though I wasn't pleased with the outrageous rumors and unwanted attention I received, I had to admit that it was nice to be back in an actual classroom. Granted, I'd done pretty well while I was at Steel, but it had always irked me that no one was interested in actually learning anything. I guess that's to be expected when your classes are filled with juvenile criminals, but it had annoyed me none the less.

As promised, Kris was waiting for me at the entrance to the cafeteria. A wave of anxiety suddenly crept over me as we walked through the doors. I'm not sure what I was so nervous about. I'd already seen several people I'd have preferred to never see again. And though the aroma from the cafeteria was near nauseating, I couldn't pin the anxiety on that either.

Kris and I went through the motions, grabbing our trays and paying for our food, slowly sliding our trays along the silver rails. As I turned to leave the cashier stand, I walked right into the now sturdy and much fuller chest of one David Hale. Internally, I grimaced. I'd almost forgotten about David and his puppy dog like loyalty.

"Hey, Tara! I'm so glad you're back!" he exclaimed, beaming from ear to ear. He reached out to hug me and I begrudgingly leaned in to him, thankful for the tray in my hands giving me reason not to fully embrace him. I could practically hear Kris roll her eyes at him.

David looked at me expectantly before he decided to continue. "You guys should sit with me today" he offered motioning to a table to the left of us, filled with letterman jackets and those who clearly desired one. My eyes shifted back to him as a group of bubbly cheerleaders sat down alongside the football players.

"Uh, it looks a little full already, David, but thank you for asking" I replied as politely as possible. Truth be told, David wasn't a bad guy. It was just; he had this thing about being my personal savior. As though his influence could suddenly turn me squeaky clean again somehow. I'd known him since we were little, and I never wanted to be rude knowing his intentions were good. But our paths just weren't one and the same and no amount of trying on his part could change that.

I stepped to the side to leave but he planted himself firmly in front of me.

"Come on, Tara. You don't mean to tell me you're scared of a couple cheerleaders?" he teased, raising his eyebrows at me. I silently fumed. I wasn't sure if he'd said it knowing it would elicit some sort of response from me, maybe that I'd try to prove him wrong. But sitting at a table full of meathead jocks and gossipy cheerleaders was the last thing I wanted to do, even if he was trying to challenge me. My eyes narrowed at him but before I could open my mouth, Ryan Sinclair and Harry Winston stepped in to save the day.

"Sorry David, but I don't think those preppy posers are the people Tara wants to surround herself with on her first day back" spoke Ryan with a devilish gleam in his eyes.

Immediately, David's face flushed scarlet with anger.

"Oh, and you think you and your MC wannabes are the people she should hang around? If you haven't forgotten, Tara's on probation and can't consort with other criminals" he paused before looking back at me "Sorry, Tara. But it's true".

I sighed, rubbing my right temple in frustration. "No, I know, David. Really. I appreciate the offer, but Ryan's right. I'm not really sure I'd be welcome over there" I acquiesced, eyeing the table again. If David couldn't see the difference between me and the girls he sat with, he clearly needed to get his eyes checked.

David followed my gaze and then looked back at me, resigned. "Okay, you win Tara," he said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. "But really, stay away from these guys" he looked pointedly at Harry and Ryan. "They're just going to get you in more trouble" he said with a razor sharp edge to his voice before turning on his heels and walking back to his table.

Kris laughed quietly behind me.

"You guys really didn't need to do that" I reprimanded them. "Seriously, he was just trying to be nice" I scolded gently, slightly embarrassed by the absurdity of the situation.

"Oh, come on Rocky. We know you didn't want to sit with him, admit it. That boy has been annoying you since you were in pigtails" Ryan laughed.

"It's true" said Kris slyly, nudging me playfully with her elbow.

"That's not the point" I said exasperated, trying to keep a straight face but knowing they were right. "So where to now, Kris?"

Kris looked toward Harry expectantly.

Harry laughed. "Well, I wasn't actually planning on sticking around; I just couldn't resist a chance to punch Hale in the heart"

"You guys are so mean. Some things never change" I huffed, blowing a straggling hair from my eyes as I turned to walk out of the cafeteria.

"We could always go sit under the bleachers" Kris offered.

"Yeah, cuz that doesn't scream troublemaker or anything. Remember, I'm trying to go incognito here" I reminded her.

"Oh, please. It's not like we're gonna smoke a joint under there or any–" her voice cut off as she noticed the look Ryan and Harry exchanged with one another.

Ryan looked sheepishly at Kris. "Well, I guess we don't _have_ to…"

"Um, please don't get me in trouble on my first day back in gen pop guys. I really don't feel like sleeping on a concrete slab tonight" I half-pleaded.

"Okay, okay, we'll save it. But only cuz it's your first day back" Harry conceded.

As Ryan held the door open for us, I stopped quickly in my tracks. Looking up at both guys I asked, almost afraid to know the answer, "Jax isn't….?" I didn't need to finish my sentence for them to know what I was thinking.

Ryan cleared his throat."Uh, I don't think he made it today, Tara."

I searched his face, looking for a sign that he was lying. Convinced that he wasn't, I followed them out to the courtyard. It was hard to miss the stares we got as we clamored down the walkway but for the first time in a long time, I didn't care. It was good to be with good people, people who weren't fake and weren't trying to impress anyone. People who weren't getting in trouble to prove a point or to prove how big and bad they were. Ryan, Harry and Kris were just straight up good people, and I didn't realize how much I'd missed that.

XOXOXOX

We hung out for the rest of the lunch hour just goofing off and catching up on all I'd missed over the summer. When they told me the story about stealing Piney's van only to accidentally crash it into a pole not even a few blocks from his house, I thought my stomach would burst from laughing so hard. I had missed this, missed these guys. Being away from everything for so long, I'd forgotten how good of friends we'd all been back then; before me and Jax had been me and Jax; when we were all friends, partners in crime.

I silently cursed myself for ever letting myself get involved with Jax in the first place and ruining all of this. It was my own fault. We were far too serious and far too angry for junior high kids and things had gotten ugly, really ugly. It was hard not to pick sides. No matter how close I was to Ryan and Harry, their loyalty was ultimately tied to Jax and the club. Even if they hated choosing sides, they had to and I accepted that.

The bell rang to indicate the end of the lunch hour and I grudgingly stood, picking up my bag. I didn't want to leave the comforting shade the bleachers provided but I also didn't want to get detention either. As we walked across the open football field, Ryan and Harry started to veer toward the parking lot.

"Where are yall going?" I asked curiously. "Isn't it a little early to be playing hooky?"

Harry rubbed the back of his head nervously, avoiding my eyes. "Oh you know, just club stuff," he shrugged.

"Seriously? You guys aren't even old enough to prospect yet. Don't give me that." I wasn't stupid and I really didn't appreciate them thinking I was that naïve.

Before either one of them could answer, I saw a vision of long blonde hair, black Pantera t-shirt, baggy jeans and a familiar set of Vans walking along the chain link fence, cigarette in hand. My breath caught in my throat as my eyes met his.

"Ah, yeah. Okay. I get it. You guys have fun. See you tomorrow then?" I asked, still a little shaken by the figure walking casually toward the school parking lot.

Harry looked from me, to Jax then back to me. "Oh yeah. Of course, Tara." He responded like it was the silliest question he'd ever heard. He leaned down to give me a small hug and Ryan did the same. As they started to walk toward the lot again, Harry turned around and added, "It's good to have you back, Knowles."

I just smiled in response. It was good to be back.


	3. Chapter 3

Jax Pov

I rolled over for the 4th time to check my cell; still no call from Opie or Ryan. _What the hell?_ I thought as I ran my hand across my tired eyes, rubbing away the sleep that lingered there.

The plan was for them to call and I'd meet them and Big Frankie at the school parking lot at lunch. I'd opted not to go to school today; the first day is always a waste and I wasn't too keen on listening to each annoying teacher act like a hard ass, knowing they'd flake out as the semester went on anyway.

Instead, I decided to crash at the clubhouse and catch up on my sleep. We'd been partying our asses off all summer and I wasn't fully recuperated yet. Besides, it was only one day.

Opie, Ryan and Frankie had gone anyway, probably cuz their parents threatened them with their lives. My parents didn't even notice. Mom was too busy fretting over Thomas and dad had taken another extended vacation out of the country. I wasn't even on their radar anymore.

I checked the clock again and realized that Charming High's lunch was almost over. _Fuck this_, I thought as I dragged myself out of bed. _I'll just head over there and meet them_. Frankie was the only one with a license and his big ass truck could fit all of us so the logical choice was for Frankie to drive.

I got dressed lethargically, grabbed a pack of smokes and headed out. Charming High wasn't too far and I didn't want to make Frankie go out of his way to get me from the clubhouse. He'd bitch about gas money and I really didn't feel like listening to that shit today.

As I rounded the corner of TM toward the school, I couldn't get my mind right. Millions of thoughts swam through my head making me dizzy. The whole world had been falling apart the last few months and I just wanted to grip it in my hands and shake the shit out of it, demand it to be fair, to give me a break. But, obviously, life doesn't work that way and every time I felt closer to getting my hands around Fate's throat, the bitch would just kick me in the gut again.

I grabbed for my cigarettes and pulled a long Marlboro Red from its' pack, brushing the lingering tobacco from the filter before lighting it with my new Reaper Zippo. Zippos were a bitch to refill, but when I saw it sitting on the counter at Hot Topic, I couldn't resist.

I could see the outline of the aging chain link fence up ahead. The grim, discolored cinderblock buildings made it look more like a prison yard than a high school. I laughed to myself; I guess they were pretty much one and the same when you really looked at it. I stared at the shadowy figures mobbing the large, open field. All of them the same, cookie cutter kids you could seamlessly substitute for any of the others. I felt bad for them and their pathetic, suffocating lives. I may be heir to a criminal MC, but at least I was free, free from the confines of what everyone thought I should be, free from keeping a pristine image so my parents could save face. We may be a lot of things, but confined by the social order of "acceptable" life, we were not.

I could see everyone moving sluggishly toward the breezeway and realized lunch must be already over. Not sure what the hell Ope and Ryan were up to, I quickened my pace a little so as not to miss Big Frankie. He'd be pissed if he had to wait on us. It was a hell of a lot harder to leave campus once class had started. Officer Garcia ran truancy patrol and he definitely knew which students to keep an eye on.

As I got closer, I recognized Opie's tall, stick figure build standing next to a few girls. _Of course._ I thought to myself, _Opie __**would**__ blow us off for some bitches._ But as soon as I had that thought, I was almost stopped cold in my tracks. It took everything in me not to freeze in my spot and to continue like nothing was happening.

_Tara Knowles._

Even from a distance, I knew that ass anywhere. Her hair was shorter, darker now, but I could never forget that perfect curve and how it fit perfectly into my hands. Well, _had_ fit was the more operative word. It'd been months since we'd spoken and even longer since she'd let my curious hands run over her uncharted body.

I was instantly thrown back to the first time I'd seen her, mouthing off to one of the vice principals about sending her to Saturday school for a late assignment or some bull shit. The intensity in her eyes had been like nothing I'd ever seen before. It was hot.

_I'd seen her a few times over the years, but I'd never really SEEN her before. Dark denim jeans slung low against her hips, arms crossed defiantly across her newly developed chest. A middrift baring top exposed the creamy skin taut across her stomach. Long brown hair hung nearly to her ass. Her ass… damn did it stand out in those jeans. My eyes drifted down her baggy jeans to a set of worn out purple Vans. I had to chuckle to myself. Not too many chicks rocked those these days. I'd tried to hit on her as soon as the VP was out of the way, but she blew me off. She knew who I was; my reputation usually preceded me like that. _

"_You know, I could think of a few better things you could do with that pretty little mouth of yours than just giving Mr. Bryant a hard time" was my smooth line. In hindsight, I probably could've come up with something better._

_Her eyebrows furrowed together in disgust as she narrowed her eyes at me. "Fuck you, Teller," she seethed as she turned and walked away. Right then and there, I knew she had me, hook, line and sinker. _

Unfortunately, where we were then to where we were today, hadn't gotten much better. Our string of make-ups and breakups had been an insanely intense cluster fuck that obliterated any sense of reason in sight. She had got me; got me so good it had made it hard to deal. So I didn't.

What got me _now_ was the look of anger on her face. Her brown eyes still filled to the brim with defiance. She turned her head like she didn't even see me, but I knew she did. She hadn't been in school for awhile. I knew she'd been busted down for fighting. They sent her to juvie, alternative school, the whole nine. She was feisty and compelling and totally uninterested in me, which was my own fault.

I knew she had a mean streak in her but had been totally unprepared when she unleashed on Sally's face. I had meant to piss her off, get her riled up… a little jealous even, but damn had I underestimated her. The end result: Sally had to have her face stitched up, Tara left in handcuffs, and Ope and I were left there dumbstruck, unable to even begin to process the eruption that had just occurred before our very eyes. Opie's flat response, "You fucked up, bro". That was the understatement of the century.

But here she was, back at school. That certainly changed things. I couldn't avoid her, no, I wouldn't be able to do that. As much as I knew she hated me right now, I still had the urge to claim her as my own, to keep all those pretty boys in line and let them know they couldn't touch her. Sure she was angry, but she was so damn infuriating, so damn intriguing, so damn intimidating that I couldn't stop thinking about her now. When there had been distance, I had been able to deal with that, I'd forced her from my mind. But walking next to her in the halls every day? Yeah, that just wasn't gonna work. I would find a way to make it right; I just didn't have any clue where to start.

I finally reached Frankie's truck and firmly shook Opie's hand, pulling him into a bro hug.

"So, Knowles, eh?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow at them, moving to shake hands with Ryan and Big Frankie.

"Yeah, uh, I guess she's back for good… well, until she kicks someone's ass again" Ope laughed, elbowing me in the ribs. I deserved that. "I have a class with her", he continued.

"You gonna talk to her?" Ryan questioned, his eyes drifting toward her figure disappearing in the distance. Like he even need to ask.

Not wanting to get ahead of myself, I just shrugged. "I don't know, I'll guess we'll see if the opportunity presents itself" I responded as blandly as possible. I knew they knew I was lying, but I wasn't about to validate their musings, trying to make me look like a little pussy whipped bitch.

"Riiiiiiight", Ryan responded sarcastically, rolling his eyes dramatically. "Whatever you say, bro", he said, deciding to let it go this time.

"Yeah, whatever you say, bro" Opie echoed, his eyes twinkling, knowing I was full of shit.

"Are you fuckers ready to go yet or what?" Frankie called from the inside of the cab. "Garcia's gonna start making his rounds any minute and then we're fucked" he shouted, annoyed at our lackadaisical response. Frankie was a cool guy, but impatient as all hell.

We jumped in the bed of the truck as Opie slid into the front of the cab with Big Frankie.

"Let's get this show and the road, bitches!" Frankie shouted out his rolled down window, banging on the side of his door, clearly looking forward to hitting up Diversions, our local arcade.

As we drove off, leaving Charming High in a cloud of exhaust, I couldn't help but think of Tara and how long it'd been since I'd seen her last. I had been such a dick, and she'd always been so fucking cool to me. _She didn't deserve that_, I sighed trying to stifle a moan at my idiocy. But right then and there I resolved that I was gonna fix it. It wasn't gonna be easy, far from it actually, but if she felt for me even a fraction of what I felt for her, I knew I still had a shot.

**A/N: I really hope you guys liked this one. I couldn't figure out how to end the chapter, so any feedback on the last paragraph or so would be much appreciated. **


	4. Chapter 4

Jax POV

A week had passed since I'd seen Tara from the other side of the CHS fence. I'd crossed paths with her in the hallway, but she was still as distant as she'd been that first day of school. It was pretty obvious she was purposely avoiding me, but I was purposely trying to make it look like I didn't care.

The bell had rang for lunch to start, so I headed down the breezeway toward my locker. For the first time, Ope had beaten me there. He looked tired, leaning heavily against the cold metal barricade lining the hallway. I nodded at him as I opened my locker, roughly shoving the worn spiral and text book inside.

"You a'ight man?" I asked a little hesitantly. It was unusual to see any kind of emotion seep out of my giant of a friend.

Opie shrugged. "Yeah, I'm good. Just tired's all. Rough night at the Winston house." He didn't offer an explanation, so I didn't ask.

"Alright bro, just remember; you're always welcome to crash at our place," I reminded him as I slammed the locker door shut.

He hung his head and shoved his hands deep in his pockets. "Yeah, I know, man. I appreciate it." He stared at the floor for a second before shaking his head a little, like he was shaking some dark thought from his brain. "So I take it you haven't talked to Tara yet?" Ope asked, changing the subject.

I didn't really want to talk about Tara and the lack of progress I'd been making, but I took the bait hoping to give him a momentary reprieve from whatever was going on in his head.

"Naw, man. No luck yet. Pretty sure she's avoiding me on purpose. Every time I've seen her, she acts like she's having some important conversation with whoever's standing next to her. Plus, I don't think Kris would let me within five feet of her anyway". I paused with half of a laugh, running my fingers through my hair. "Tara will come around, I just need to get her attention without making a big deal about it" _Easier said than done for sure._

"Kinda sounds like a big deal if you're trying not to make it a big deal" Ope laughed under his breath as we headed toward the cafeteria.

I shrugged. What could I say to that?

"Well, you better figure it out soon" Ope said as he swung open the cafeteria double doors and nodded toward the stack of cafeteria trays. "It looks like you may need to get in line".

I followed his line of sight and saw Tara standing with Kris, surrounded by a group of upper classmen. I got an uneasy feeling in my stomach at the sight; like she was a hanging piece of meat and a gang of horny hyenas were circling to pounce.

"You know anything about that?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

"What, you mean Tara?" asked Ryan who'd just walked up behind us. I silently cursed that he'd heard the inquiry. I'd been friends with Ryan forever but he wasn't great at keeping his mouth shut and he was still pretty friendly with Tara from what I'd seen.

"I was more curious about the douchebags she's hanging out with more than anything" I replied, trying to play it off.

Ryan laughed and I silently cursed him again. "Well, the dude in the jacket is Jason Wright and the one to his right is Eric Mason and they _**are**_ kind of a douchebag," Ryan conceded. "But that tall one is Adam Woodley, you don't recognize him?" It took a second for recognition to finally set in. I did remember Adam. We had been best friends when we were kids, little league and all that shit. His dad had been a member of SAMCRO but got popped on some club business and had been murdered by some rivals while in federal prison. Rumor had it; his mom took it really hard, took to the bottle and sent Adam off to military school. He'd grown at least a foot and a half since then, lost his coke bottle glasses and grown damn near a full beard. If Ryan hadn't told me, I'd have never glanced his way.

"No shit" said Ope, more as a statement of awe than a question.

"I've seen the other guys around," Ryan added. "I think they play football and shit but they aren't goody goods. They don't hang out with the Hale's or anything. They don't mind ridin' a little dirty."

"Riding? Adam doesn't have a bike does he?" I was relieved Opie had asked the question as I thought it. After all, I didn't want to seem _too_ interested in who Tara was talking to.

"Naw, no bike. He does have a sick ass old school Chevelle though; dark green, black leather interior. It's pretty fucking cool".

"Well, they don't really look like the kind of guys Tara should be talking to," Opie said gruffly.

"Aww, what's the matter? Big brother Ope doesn't want Tara talking to any troublemakers besides us? Afraid she might get in trouble again?" Ryan teased, putting Opie in a headlock, or at least trying to from his six inch shorter stature.

"Something like that," Ope laughed, reversing Ryan's hold until Ryan flailed like a helpless fish before releasing him. "Seriously though, there's something about them. I don't like the way they're looking at her" he said protectively.

Ryan chuckled. "Yeah, you're probably right. I know Tara's smart and all, but Jason and Eric don't have the best reputation. I heard they had some bet about how many girls in each grade they can sleep with before football season is over."

Opie met my eyes knowingly. "Well, brother, looks like we better get in line" he said, putting both hands on my shoulders and playfully shoving me in the direction of the lunch line.

Xoxoxox

Tara POV

I leaned back against the wall as nonchalantly as possible as I waited for the line to move. Truth be told, I was trying to put as much space as possible between me and my new found admirers. It wasn't that I didn't like the attention. I was kind of flattered if I was truly honest with myself, but they were coming on a little strong for my taste and I didn't want to seem like an easy target. I'd heard the stories in the hallways about the stupid locker room bet the varsity guys had and I'd be damned if anyone thought they could get me that easily.

Adam leaned into me, talking as though he was simply whispering in my ear. I felt a small shudder roll down my spine as his breath grazed down my neck. I tried to pretend like I wasn't interested, but it was hard not to be. He'd grown up a lot in the last few years and definitely wasn't hard on the eyes. We took a few steps forward as the line moved and I heard Kris laughing at some joke Eric was telling. It was definitely a fake laugh but I think she found them slightly entertaining. Kris had never dated anyone we went to school with and I was certain she wasn't about to start. But CHS was already pretty boring so she might as well amuse herself.

Adam brought his head up to look in Kris' direction and then back down at me. "You guys should really come out with us this weekend, it'll be fun," he said smoothly, a sly grin on his face.

"I don't know" I replied truthfully. "I don't think my dad would go for that… riding in cars with older boys and all".

All three of them laughed. "Seriously? Come on, Tara. We've known each other forever. I'm sure your dad would remember me."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure he'd also remember you getting sent off to military reform school." I reminded him.

Adam jokingly crossed his hands over his heart as though I'd wounded him. "Exactly, I've been reformed, T," he laughed, his words draped in sarcasm.

"Reformed?" came a cool, raspy voice from behind us. "Don't tell me you let those bootcamp pussies make you change your ways!"

My eyes snapped up to meet those electric blues staring back at me before they moved to meet Adam's pale brown.

"Jackson fucking Teller!" Adam exclaimed, grabbing Jax' hand and pulling him to a hug. "How the hell are you man?"

I felt Kris press slightly to my side as I felt the wind silently leave my sail.

"I'm good man, I'm good. Ryan had to point you out to me. I didn't even recognize your ass! You remember Opie, right?" Jax replied warmly, gesturing toward Harry.

"Of course, bro" replied Adam, shaking hands with Ope and giving him a bro hug as well. "Ryan mentioned you guys were still running around Charming raising hell. What's it been? Three years?"

"Something like that, man. Too long whatever it is." Jax paused, surveying the group before turning back to Adam. "You should come by the club house bro, I know everyone would love to see you".

I let out a low breath in frustration. I couldn't tell if Jax was trying to cockblock Adam or if he was genuinely happy to see him. My gut told me it was probably a combination of the two. After all, we'd all grown up together and he and Adam had been inseparable until Adam's old man went away. Still, something told me this was more about Adam talking with me than about Adam himself.

Adam rubbed the back of his neck. I got the sense that he still struggled with his feelings about the club after everything that happened. "I don't know, man. It's been a long time. Not really sure I'd be welcome like I was back then."

I suddenly became conscious of Jason and Eric shifting nervously next to us. No doubt not being the center of attention was an unusual feeling for them.

"No way, bro. You should come out. It'll be just like old times. Better than old times; I bet you could get a crow eater to suck your dick now that you've got that car of yours" Ryan interjected like the pervert that he is.

Adam tried to laugh Ryan off; very much aware that two minutes ago he'd been trying to get me in that car for probably the exact same reason.

"Really, you should come by. Mom would love to see you" Jax said again.

"Ah, Gemma. Yeah," Adam said slightly reluctantly, "I'd hate for her to hear I was back and didn't want to see her." I could only imagine the memories he had of her that were guilting him in to going to visit her.

"Alright man, you convinced me. I'll roll by the garage after I get out of work tonight"

"Bad ass, man!" Ryan practically yelled, slapping Adam on the shoulder.

"Yeah man, bad ass." Jax replied, not even looking at me.

The boys continued their banter and I turned my back on the conversation, gliding through the line as quickly as possible. As I fumbled in my purse for cash, I heard Opie lean over beside me. "Why the rush? You don't want to stay and hang out with your new _friends_?"

I snorted. "I get it, Harry. You win this one but whatever you think is going to happen, it's not." I hissed back at him quietly.

Opie held his hands up in surrender. "I didn't say a word" he said as he grinned back mischievously.


	5. Chapter 5

Jax POV

The final bell rang and I bolted out the door heading to the parking to meet the guys. I made it to Frankie's truck before everyone and threw my bag in the back, letting down the tailgate and leaning back to observe the hordes swarming from the main building. I fought the urge to light a cigarette since Office Garcia was standing not too far away. No sense in getting a ticket now when I could wait five minutes and be in the clear. Instead, I impatiently ran my fingers through my hair and tried to rub the stress from my right temple as I waited.

"Hey Jax," a few girls shouted and waved, momentarily distracting me as they passed. "Hey ladies," I replied with a nod of my head and a slick smile.

Another gaggle of girls passed, this group braver than the last. "You gonna give me a ride, Jax?" asked a leggy blonde suggestively. I'd met her and her sister at a party last weekend. They were new to the neighborhood. Her name was Brittany if I remembered right.

"Well, I would darling, but this isn't my ride. You could always come by the club house later and I might be able to help you out" I bantered back with a wink. That sent them into a fit of giggles. I watched as Brittany tugged the hem of her skirt an inch higher and walked over to me, balanced her elbow on the bed of the truck and looked up at me. At sixteen she looked more like a twenty-something, not that I was complaining. Long legs, nice rack, porn star lips; she could've been one of Luanne's girls if she was a couple years older. I was pretty sure I could pull her if I really wanted to, I just hadn't made up my mind yet if that's what I wanted. Hot as hell but dumb as shit, I guess there could be worse things.

She leaned in a little, unabashedly squeezing her cleavage together – I couldn't help but do a double take. She knew it.

"Such a bad boy" she laughed, playfully pushing my shoulder. "Maybe I'll take you up on that, if you're lucky" she whispered coyly. Her attention was taken away by a group walking our direction. I looked up to see Ryan, Opie, Adam, Tara and Kris walking slowly toward us, laughing at something one of them had said.

One of Brittany's friends tugged on her arm, clearly in a hurry to leave. I had to wonder if Tara and Kris had anything to do with the girl's uneasiness.

"See you later, sweetie" Brittany breathed as she turned to walk away, shaking her hips in an abnormal rhythm, clearly trying to keep my attention. She would've had it to, if Tara and Adam hadn't been ten feet away and acting like long lost friends.

I tried to rationalize with myself; they'd known each other since they were kids too, just like me and him. It was normal to be friendly with someone you hadn't seen in so long and it was near impossible for Tara to be rude to anyone that hadn't given her good reason. But still, there was no rationalizing about it. No matter how close they'd been growing up, things were different now that we were older, now that everyone noticed Tara, now that Adam had that fucking Chevelle. I tried to push it from my mind.

"I was beginning to wonder about you guys" I said as they came closer.

"Oh, you looked like you were plenty occupied to me" Ryan laughed, glancing back toward Brittany who was still overtly shaking her ass.

"She looks like she's going to throw out a hip," Kris mumbled under her breath to Tara. Everyone had to laugh. There were different types of girls at CHS and Tara and Kris were definitely different from majority of them. Something in their chemical makeup set them apart. Don't get me wrong, they could both turn on the charm when they wanted to… I'd seen them both do it. But they were something else; I never could put my finger on it, maybe they were just smart.

Opie looked at me expectantly. I'd known him long enough, I could read his mind. He'd brought Tara this close; I had to at least say something to her.

"So Knowles, you decided to grace us with your presence this afternoon?" I asked with a wide smile, knowing the sound of my voice alone irritated the shit out of her right now.

Tara rolled her eyes but I noticed Kris laugh, which encouraged me a little.

"Well," she started reluctantly like there were a million other places she'd rather be right now. "Actually, Opie tried to volunteer Frankie to give me and Kris a ride home. I told him it was too out of the way, I wasn't going to ask Frankie to do that cuz I know how he gets. No offense, Frankie!" she added as she noticed him join us.

"None taken", Frankie answered with a look that said she was exactly right.

"He kept pestering me," she shot a glare at Opie, "and Adam overheard and offered instead," she finished with a smug smile.

"Nice guy," I replied, trying to play it cool. I reached instinctively for a cigarette again but stopped myself, thumbing my lighter and flicking it off and on instead. Damn nervous habits. "But watch out for these two, Adam. Rub them the wrong way and you'll find that pretty little car of yours on fire in a ditch somewhere. They have a pretty low tolerance for bullshit".

"Hey, hey. Leave me out of this. I'm not the one with a record!" Kris laughed, giving Tara a playful push.

"Oh, please!" Ryan laughed giving Kris a skeptical look. "If Tara offed someone, you would hide the murder weapon and then help her bury the body. We know how you two work."

I could see the blush spread across Tara's cheeks but she didn't react more than that. Instead, she held my stare, lifted her chin as if to accept some unspoken challenge and then looked back to Adam. "Better be nice" she warned him with a sarcastic smile and a playful look that made me bite the inside of my cheek.

"I'll remember that" Adam promised, feigning wariness as he looked back and forth between the two girls.

"You still coming by TM later?" I asked, hoping to get his attention off Tara.

"Yeah, man. Definitely. I'm gonna drop the girls off, swing by the batting cages and pick up a couple hours and then I'll be by."

"And what are you two ladies up to this afternoon?" Opie interjected.

The two girls shared a look and Tara shrugged.

"I gotta get home and watch the kids. Make sure they do their homework and shit. Cook, clean, you know, general slave labor" Kris joked – there was too much truth to that for it to really be funny but we obliged her with halfhearted smiles anyway.

"And you?" Opie pressed, looking toward Tara.

Tara shoved her hands in her pockets and glanced away, staring off into the distance at something demanding her concentration. "Oh, you know. About the same."

"What do you have to do, really? You should ride with us and hang out at the clubhouse. It'll be fun. Like old times" Opie continued.

Kris and Tara shared another look. What I wouldn't give to understand the secret language the two of them had. Fucking ESP I tell ya.

"Yeah, Tara. Come on. We'll get you back home before… before you need to be home" Ryan added, remembering half way through his sentence that Tara would kill him if he mentioned her dad in front of everyone.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Adam's posture change but he didn't say anything.

As usual, Tara couldn't find it in her heart to be rude to Ryan or Ope.

"I don't know guys. I should probably just head home." I could hear the note of wishful finality in her voice but Ryan wasn't going to let her get away that easy. Sometimes his lack of intuition drove me insane, but his inability to pick up on subtle hints was actually working in my favor this time.

He grabbed her in a playful headlock and gave her a noogie, completely destroying her hair until an uncontrollable laugh erupted from her. I couldn't help but smile at the sound.

"Alright, alright. FINE!" she screamed wheeling out of Ryan's grasp. She looked at Kris again, this time with a "save me" look on her face that Kris pretended she didn't see.

Tara shot Opie an 'I hate you right now look' before turning back to Adam.

"Thanks for the offer, Adam. I really do appreciate it. Maybe another time?". I didn't like the hopefulness in her voice, but I bit my tongue. She was coming to hang out with us and that was more than I deserved really.

"Yeah, sure," Adam said, leaning down to give her a hug. "Just let me know. Anytime." Then he turned to Kris. "You ready?"

"Yep" she replied, turning to give Tara a hug and whisper something in her ear. As Adam walked around to the driver's side, Kris opened the passenger door, pausing before she looked at me. "Don't be an asshole," she mouthed, giving me one of her looks before turning and getting in the car.

I was starting to get the feeling that maybe Kris was on my side and it gave me a little hope.

"Let's get the hell outta here" Frankie bellowed as he slammed the tailgate shut, climbed in his cab and lit a cigarette.

"SHOT GUN!" yelled Ryan and Opie at the same time, but I had already beat them to the passenger side. I pushed the handle and swung open the door, holding it wide. "Ladies first" I smirked at Tara.

She rolled her eyes again but didn't protest, brushing past me just close enough that I could catch a whiff of the Romance perfume she always wore. I slid in next to her on the bench seat and for the first time ever, Opie and Ryan didn't talk shit as they tossed their bags over the side of the frame and jumped in the bed.


	6. Chapter 6

Jax POV

As Frankie drove off the school property, I finally pulled the pack of cigarettes from my pocket and flipped open the top, offering one to Tara. She met my eyes with a curious look but pulled one from the pack without a word. I pulled one as well and lit it before handing her the lighter. There was a hint of a smile in her eyes as she accepted it, bringing the cigarette to her lips and drawing the flame close. I knew she was remembering the time I'd tried to be all debonair and light it for her but damn near burned her eyelashes instead. I couldn't help but smirk as she handed it back to me, exhaling a delicate cloud of smoke.

"What, I'm not pretty enough to get a cigarette, Teller?" Frankie ribbed me from the driver's seat. "It's the least you could do since I'm chauffeuring your non-driving asses around."

"You already have one!" I retorted, eyeing the lit cigarette in his hand. I laughed as I pulled another cigarette from the pack and handed it to him. "Fine, here you go, pussy."

Tara rolled her eyes as Frankie slid the unlit cigarette behind his ear for safe keeping. "Some things never change, huh?" she said with a small smile.

"Knowles, you're the one that's been away awhile. Nothing's changed here. Same 'ol bikers you know and love." I replied with a cocky smile. "But I guess a lot of shit has changed with you huh?" I asked quirking an eyebrow at her.

She sighed and looked at Frankie. "Is he always this annoying?" she asked him with a teasing tone.

Frankie laughed. "Shit, you're the one who dated him" he quipped back.

She couldn't help but laugh. "Thanks for reminding me."

"Oh come on, Knowles. It wasn't so bad. We had fun, didn't we?" I knew I wasn't doing myself any favors, but taunting Tara had always been one of my favorite things to do. It was so easy to get her riled up, too easy.

She took a deep drag of her cigarette. "Sure, if that's what you want to call it, Teller. Those tight metal handcuffs were a blast"

"Hey now, I don't want to hear about your sex life, guys!" Frankie guffawed, trying to keep the conversation from taking a dark turn.

Tara elbowed him in the side and grinned. "Oh, my bad…wouldn't want to offend those virgin ears" she teased Frankie, allowing him to keep the subject light.

She leaned over me to flick her ashes out the window. My body had a physical reaction to her close proximity; my nerves standing on end like pricks of pins and needles. She didn't seem to share my heightened reaction.

Instead, she fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat, pushing her hair back behind her ears. She was nervous, like a wild animal trapped in a cage unsure if she was headed for a reserve or for slaughter.

"Relax, Tara. I'm not gonna bite," I told her, trying to release some of the tension inching its way through the cab. "I just wanna make amends. There's no reason we can't all be friends again. Ryan and Ope love you and I know they missed having you around. Besides, we could use a little estrogen in the group again…. Keep us from doing anything too stupid." I really wasn't sure what to say to get her to feel more comfortable around me. God knows I'd certainly caused some chaos last year. I wasn't even sure it was fixable.

She turned, leveling her inquisitive stare at me. I swear those brown eyes could burn right down to my core, rummaging through my insides into the deepest corners, finding the darkest things no one should ever know.

She stared at me but I didn't dare break her gaze. Whatever she was looking for, whatever answers she needed, I wanted her to find them. I had nothing to hide from this girl. I really was sorrier than she could ever know for the way things had played out. Even if she never gave me another chance, I hoped that she could realize that. Tara had let me in when she had kept everyone else out, shared with me things she had never shared with anyone before and all I had done was betray her, betray her in a way that I'd never forgive someone for if the tables had been turned.

She shrugged. "Okay, whatever." I could see her posture relax slightly. "But no funny business, Teller" she warned me with an uncertain look in her eye. I couldn't tell if she was playing or not.

"A lover's quarrel solved. Fucking finally. Can we talk about something else now?" Frankie broke in.

"You caught up on all your soap operas?" Tara taunted, smirking at Frankie. He gave her a dirty look.

"Kidding, kidding." She looked at me and I could see she was trying not to laugh in Frankie's face. Frankie is a great guy, but he can get a little moody.

"So what's been going on at TM, then? I'm sure I missed some good drama over the summer," she questioned.

Frankie chuckled. "When isn't there drama at TM? Between all those damn crow eaters and the Queen Bee herself, there's always something interesting going on. " He paused, thinking of the juiciest piece of information but settled for the funniest instead. "Some crow eater got all high on acid and bit Tig in the ass" he offered, satisfied that that information was the most entertaining.

I had to laugh as Tara's jaw dropped.

"Bit him in the ass?" she asked in disbelief. "Do I even want to know how that happened?"

Frankie shrugged. "Don't know exactly, Tig wasn't really in the mood to talk about it." He explained in between laughs. "The other guys said they were getting kinky and the bitch must've not realized how hard she clenched down, some kind of hellish hallucination I guess …. I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up with a scar!"

"Shit, he's lucky he didn't get rabies knowing the chicks he's usually into" I added, taking a final drag of my cigarette. Tig was like family but his taste in women was questionable at best, terrifying at its worst.

Frankie told her a few more stories and I added a few lines in for good measure until we finally pulled onto the lot. As we drove through the gate I could hear the welcoming sound of metal on metal and the smell of gasoline and oil mixing in the air. I felt Tara take a deep breath next to me and I must've given her a strange look.

"What?" she asked a little more self-consciously than I was used to hearing her sound. "I always liked that smell" she said quietly, nudging her shoulder into me so I'd open the door.

I stopped to look at her, suddenly at a loss for words. "Yeah" was all I could manage as I pulled the lever, holding the door open for her.

Ryan and Opie jumped over the side of the bed and Ryan playfully slung his arm around Tara's shoulder as we headed for the clubhouse.

"It's good to have you back, Rocky" he told her, garnering him a hard elbow to the ribs in response.

"Better be careful, Ryan, or she'll get all Rocky up on your ass too." I warned.

Tara shot me a dirty look but this time with more amusement than the one she'd given me in front of Adam. A long time ago she'd confided in me that her history of violence twisted her up a little inside. On the one hand, she was proud of the reputation she'd gained, the respect she'd earned because of it and the fact that only the stupidest of girls would dare risk her wrath these days. On the other, she was deeply embarrassed by her lack of self-control and the attention it seemed to bring her. She was a control freak by nature and those moments when she lost herself frightened her, made her feel like she was spinning out of control. From what I could tell all these months later, she was still trying to find a way to lock it down.

Tara POV

The clubhouse was near empty save for a few hang-arounds so we made our way back to Jax' room. It had undergone a few renovations over the years; first a nursery, then a playroom, even a personal gym for awhile when Jax had been really into MMA. Now it was more of a crash pad than anything; posters of porn stars and Harleys on the walls, half eaten cereal bowls and red solo cups strewn across every surface. Fortunately, I knew without having to look that the bathroom would still be spotless. Gemma might let him be messy but she drew the line at flat out dirty.

As I made myself comfortable on one of the couches I saw Jax slyly take something from the edge of his mirror and slide it quietly in his drawer. He quickly turned around and leaned against the dresser like it was nothing but I had to wonder what it was he was trying to hide; probably a nudie of some CHS girl he knew I'd recognize if I saw it.

Harry pulled open the mini-fridge and handed us each a Shiner, twisting the top off for me.

"Such a gentleman." I chuckled, shaking my head.

His ears turned a little red. "Shhh, don't tell anyone. Wouldn't want to ruin my reputation or anything", he responded as he cleared his throat, trying to hide his embarrassment.

For as rough of an exterior as Harry had, he really was a gentle giant deep down.

Jax turned on his sound system as I dug around in my purse. A wave of nostalgia jolted through me at the sound of Limp Bizkit's Three Dollar Bill, Yalls. I'd heard this album a million times sitting in this exact same spot. I tried unsuccessfully to stop a smile from spreading across my face.

I quickly pulled the rumpled plastic baggie from my purse and held it up triumphantly.

"Anyone have a cigarillo?" I asked.

Frankie laughed loudly in surprise. "I knew there was a reason I agreed to give you a ride."

"Who the fuck carries cigarillos?" Ryan questioned with a dismayed look on his face. "What kind of pansies do we look like to you?"

"The kind of pansies who obviously don't know how to treat a lady" answered a familiar voice from the doorway.

I looked up to see John Teller leaning against the door frame watching us.

"No way, sir. Bitches love me" quirked Ryan in response.

John rolled his eyes.

"I think you just proved his point, bro" Jax laughed, shaking his head. "What's up, pops?"

"Just checking to see if you misfits actually made it to school today. It's good to see you, Tara. It's been too long. My son treating you alright?" He asked, folding his arms across his chest and throwing a stern look at Jax.

Jax cleared his throat, shifting his weight awkwardly. "We're not together, dad" he reminded John in a flat voice, shooting him a look that begged the older man not to embarrass him.

"Oh, _that's_ right. My stubborn ass son fucked that one up didn't he?" he replied, obviously feigning a lapse in memory. He winked at me as he stepped further into the room. "That's alright, she's too smart for you anyway, Jackson. Wouldn't know what to do with her if she handed you a how-to manual, " John added playfully.

"Shit, she needs to come with a how-to manual" coughed Ryan under his breath. John smacked him good naturedly in the back of the head.

Jax shook his head glancing from me to his father. "I know, dad. I know. You don't have to tell me." He kept his voice even but he clearly did not want to be having this conversation in front of me.

I could feel the blush creeping across my face as I tried to hide behind a veil of my hair.

"Well, are one of you gonna give the lady a Cigarillo or not?" he continued ribbing the younger guys.

"Come on, John. We don't carry that kind of girly shit around with us" defended Opie. "Tara needs to learn how to roll a regular blunt already."

With that, a huff involuntarily escaped me. "I can't help it that my fingers are too small! I can't roll the regular Black and Milds dammit!" I winced at the whiney sound my voice made and the whole room erupted into laughter.

"It's okay, darling. I think Otto's old lady probably has one" John reassured me with a kind smile.

Ryan literally jumped from his seat. "I'll go ask her" he volunteered bolting for the door. John stuck out his arm, clotheslining him before he could sneak out.

John put a hand on Ryan's shoulder and gave him a look. "Don't just stare at her tits when you're talking to her this time. That's Otto's old lady. Treat her with some respect."

Ryan shrugged him off. "Of course. Respect. I got it" he smiled as he ran out of the room.

John just chuckled to himself.

"You know he can't keep his eyes off her. He saw one too many of her videos, she's his fucking wet dream" Frankie cautioned.

John just shrugged his shoulders and turned towards the door. "I know. That's why I told her next time the little fucker does it, she should smack him." He paused. "I'm gonna go watch the show. You kids behave and make sure Tara gets home safe" he said, eyeballing Jax.

"It's okay, Mr. Teller. I'm not gonna be here long. I'll head out before the sun goes down. I'll be okay" the last thing I wanted was a security escort home.

"I'm sure you will, sweetheart. But either way, these boys need to make sure they get you home. If Frankie doesn't drive you, at least one of them needs to walk you home. " He looked around the room at Jax, Opie and Frankie. "I mean it" he reaffirmed in a fatherly tone. "It's nice to see you, Tara. Keep these boys out of trouble and don't be a stranger, alright?"

"Thanks, Mr. Teller" I replied with a soft smile. It felt strange having a father like figure look out for me but it also felt kind of nice too.

He nodded his head and walked out.

There was a short silence in the room before Frankie spoke up.

"Well that wasn't awkward."

Harry laughed. "John just likes to give Jax a hard time. Tara being here was just a bonus for him."

Jax rolled his eyes and looked at me apologetically.

"Sorry about that. I know he knows better. "

This time it was my turn to laugh. "No worries, Jax. Your dad's the best. And anyone who likes to harass you is okay in my book" I added, sticking my tongue out at him.

"Ha, yeah. Thanks. You're a real sweetheart" he replied with a hint of sarcasm, attempting to veil his relief.

We heard laughter resonating from the front of the club house and a few seconds later Ryan rounded the corner, proudly holding up a cigarillo. There was a clear outline of a red handprint across his cheek.

"I got it!" he said victoriously.

Opie threw a couch cushion at him. "Just couldn't keep your eyes off of 'em, could you?"

"What?" Ryan asked innocently as he threw the cigarillo in my lap. "I can't help it. They just bounce so perfect… I can't stop picturing them…. in person they're just… well, you know." He pressed his lips together and I could almost see the images making their way through his dirty mind. "She should really take it as a compliment," he added.

Jax groaned and this time I threw a cushion at Ryan.

"You're so gross! How do you expect to get a girlfriend being such a pervert all the time?" I questioned as I split the cigarillo down the center, emptying the tobacco in the ash tray next to me.

Ryan threw the pillow back at me, narrowly missing the pile of weed I'd broken up on the table in front of me. "I never had a problem getting girls before!"

"Yeah, but not any NICE girls!"

Ryan waved his hand in dismissal. "Who needs a nice girl? I'm not trying to get married. I'm too young for an old lady. That shit's for pussy whipped bitches."

I looked around the room when no one bothered to correct him.

"You guys are a lost cause" I sighed in exasperation. "Somebody hand me a lighter."


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi guys! I'm so sorry it's been so long. I had a baby a few months ago so having the time to sit down and really get into my writing has been difficult. This chapter is not nearly as fleshed out as I want it to be, but I wanted to get something out so you don't think I've forgotten it. Hopefully I can get a few hours to myself soon so I can update again. Thanks for all the support and WELCOME to my new readers. **

Tara POV

It had been a little over a week since I agreed to hang out with the guys at TM after school. It had actually gone a lot better than I'd expected and, even though I hadn't been back to the clubhouse, we were all sort of falling back into our old familiarity. Kris and I would meet up with the guys for lunch and spent our passing periods hanging with them in the spot we'd claimed as our own under the second story breezeway. Surprisingly, Jax had been on his best behavior with me; he hadn't tried hitting on me, he hadn't tried flaunting his female groupies in my face; he'd also done his general best not to act like a prick. Well, with the exception of when Adam was around.

Granted, Jax and Adam were friendly and Adam was easily finding his place back in the group, but there was an underlying tenant of something unspoken there. I wasn't really sure if Adam was aware of it. I wasn't even sure if Adam knew Jax and I had a history or not. If he did, he didn't seem to care all that much. It wasn't overt. It wasn't in your face. But he'd been giving me and Kris a ride home from school almost every day and we talked on the phone most nights.

Adam was easy to talk to and even easier on the eyes. I didn't feel any earth shattering gravitational pull toward him, but there was definitely a mutual attraction and he was a welcome distraction from the loneliness I'd come to feel the last several months. It felt nice to have someone interested in me, felt nice to have someone want to make me laugh and, though I wasn't really sure what his intentions were, I wasn't really sure that I cared.

The final bell rang and I threw my books in my bag and headed down the hall to meet Kris.

"Hey" she nodded at me, adjusting her bag over her shoulder. "You catching a ride with Adam again?"

"Supposed to" I smiled at her.

"You really like this guy, don't you?" she asked with a look of reproach on her face.

I brushed my hand through the air indicating it was no big deal.

"He's cute. He's nice to talk to. I haven't really thought about it too much more than that really."

"You sure about that?" She quirked an eyebrow at me in concern.

"Positive" I groaned, my stomach twisting at the thought of where this conversation was going.

"I'm just making sure. I mean, I know he hangs out with Jason and Eric and you know what they say, birds of a feather…"

I rolled my eyes. "Look, seriously. Don't worry about it. I know what I'm getting myself into. I'm not looking for anything serious. The last thing I need is some boy to have to answer to. I'm just having fun."

"Not _too_ much fun, I hope."

"Jesus, Kris. I'm not sleeping with him. For fuck's sake, he hasn't even asked me out on a date yet. "

"But you want to?"

With that, I threw my hands up in frustration. "Want to what? Christ, Kristina! Let me get a date first before you start lecturing me on who I'm fucking around with."

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I just know how you get sometimes…." She broke off, not finishing her sentence.

"If that's your nice way of telling me not to act like a slut, I really appreciate it" I spit back at her.

"I didn't say that!" she defended. " I just, I just meant…."

"I know what you meant" I bit back, starting to lose patience with the conversation. I loved Kris like a sister and while I knew I should've appreciated that she was looking out for me, I couldn't help but feel insulted. All she was doing was reminding me of things I'd been desperately trying to run away from.

"I just don't want you to get hurt. Last time… I mean after you and Jax broke up… those guys they…all those rumors… I just know it really hurt" she added, her voice rife with worry.

"FUCK, Kristina! I _know_. It's not like I'm falling in love with the guy. He's just a distraction, ok?" I felt like screaming at her but didn't want to draw anymore unwanted attention. School had been in session for weeks and still nothing interesting enough had happened to take my name off the gossip carousel. I didn't want to make it worse.

"I know, I just…. I don't want you distracting yourself for the wrong reasons… distracting yourself has never made you feel better before….it…it usually makes you feel worse."

I glared at her. "Are you finished?" I didn't need her to remind me of the emptiness I'd fallen into over the last year. Heartbroken, angry, and ostracized, I'd tried to numb the pain with any drug or with any person possible which, of course, had only compounded my self-loathing. I'd been doing so much better since coming back to school. Could she not see that? Did she really have such a low opinion of me… that that's all she thought?

She opened her mouth to say something else but stopped as she saw Harry heading our direction.

Harry looked between Kris and me warily. "You two okay?"

"Peachy" I muttered under my breath.

I could see Harry's eyes searching my face but he thought better of asking any further.

"You got plans this afternoon?" he asked the same way he'd asked every day since the day I went with them to the club house.

"Yeah, I have some homework and stuff to do."

"Oh, bullshit. Come hang out again. You know you had fun last time." He continued. "I think Adam's coming by the club house later anyway, if that's your lame excuse."

My mouth dropped at his directness. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Come on, Rocky. I'm not stupid. I know you have a thing for him."

"I don't have a _thing_ for him! He's just giving me a ride home." Seriously, what was everyone's problem today?

"Okay, Tara. All I'm saying is if you really want to hang out with him, you'd probably have a better chance if you just hung out with all of us."

"What kind of reverse psychology is this, Ope? I know better than to think you're going to try and help set us up. "

"What? Fuck no. I'm not trying to help set you up with him. If you have to hang out with him, I just feel better if you do it when I'm around."

"Cut the big brother bullshit, Opie. I'm a big girl and Adam is harmless."

Opie looked to Kris for help but she kept quiet this time and just looked at the ground.

"Okay, okay, Tara." He conceded "Whatever you say. Sue me for trying to look out for you."

I took a deep breath trying to quell the anger that had risen inside me. I reached out and touched him gently on the arm. "I know, Harry. I'm sorry. You just caught me at a bad moment" I said looking at Kris then back to him.

"So does this mean you're coming back to the clubhouse?" he asked with a mischievous glint in his eye.

I raised my hand and smacked him hard in the arm.

XOXOXOX

We gathered around Frankie's truck, bullshitting around waiting for the rest of the group to make their way out to the parking lot. Jax and Ryan emerged first, surrounded by their usual flock of females. A slim redhead had her arm wrapped around Jax' waist, whispering in his ear. Ryan said something to him and as he lifted his head he noticed us already standing near Frankie's truck. He nonchalantly put some space between him and the redhead but continued with whatever conversation they were having. Ryan, on the other hand, slapped one of the girls on the ass and scampered off toward us, the big bosomed blonde chasing after him.

As Ryan ran up to us laughing, the girl collided into him and he wrapped his arm around her. "Guys, you know Chelsea, right?"

I nodded politely as Kris and Opie muttered unenthusiastic "Hey's" .

Chelsea met my eyes and offered a timid smile. I tried to offer what I hoped was a warm smile in return. I wasn't sure who she was to Ryan but she hadn't given me a reason not to like her yet.

The group of girls attached to Jax slowly broke off as he got closer to us, the redhead the only one balsy enough to approach. I almost felt bad for her as he separated himself from her and jumped up on the tailgate next to Opie…. Almost. The girl swayed awkwardly before she sauntered over to Chelsea's flank, obviously dejected.

"I think I'm gonna catch a ride with Eric" Kris said quietly.

I was pretty sure he had football practice, but I was still irritated with her and didn't press. I offered a shrug in response as she walked away.

"Everything okay, there?" Jax asked, having picked up on the icy exchange.

I shrugged, not wanting to meet his eye.

Taking the cue that I didn't want to talk about it, he simply offered a "you guys will work it out." He didn't say anything else but the warmth in his voice set my nerves a little more at ease. Even though I hated to admit it, Jax still knew me better than anyone on the planet and there's not much that can compare to the solace found in that.

XOXOXOX

Jax POV

I wasn't sure what was going on with Tara and Kris, but it didn't seem good. They were basically Siamese twins, interminably intertwined in each other's lives and it was highly unusual for them to separate… especially on bad terms. I knew what Kris meant to Tara but in that moment the rigid set of her shoulders and dismissive stare could've convinced me otherwise.

Though it was unlike Tara to regard Kris with such aloofness, I couldn't say I'd never seen Tara like this before. It took a lot to get on Tara's shit list but, once you were there, damn could that girl hold a grudge. You know how people say the opposite of love isn't hate, its indifference? Well Tara could play indifferent better than anyone I'd ever met, my own mother included. I was concerned about what it would've taken for Kris to wade into this frigid territory but it was clear Tara wasn't in the mood to talk about it.

Frankie sauntered towards us, trickling out with the last wave of students.

"You guys ready to go?"

Opie and I hopped off the tailgate and slammed it shut. Ryan was too immersed with Chelsea to have noticed.

I looked over at Tara who was discreetly scanning the parking lot. I was glad Adam was nowhere to be found, but the disenchantment on her face hit hard in the pit of my stomach. I wanted him to stand her up, but part of me wanted to kill him for it.

She hiked her bag up anxiously over her shoulder as the crinkle lines in her forehead appeared.

"You want a ride?" I asked, catching her wandering eyes.

She looked around again before looking back at me. Opie had turned his attention to her as well.

She took a deep breath and forced a smile.

"Um, yeah, actually. That would be great. Thanks."

I opened the passenger door and held it open, gesturing for her to climb in. "After you."

Opie caught my eye and gave me a shit eating grin. I rolled my eyes and climbed in the cab after her, trying to keep my own shit eating grin off my face.

Frankie looked at me and Tara but didn't say anything as he started up his truck. Tara stared out the windshield, absentmindedly twirling a strand of hair around her slender fingers. It was a subconscious habit of hers, one that could mean a few different things and none of them good. I gently put my hand around her busied fingers and pulled them away from her hair before she made a knot she'd have to rip out. My gesture startled her from her trance and she smiled sadly as I pulled my hand away.

We pulled out of the parking lot and still no one spoke.

I snuck a glance at Tara out of the corner of my eye and she was staring at her hands. Frankie must've sensed her mood because he didn't say anything until we came to a fork in the road.

Without taking his eyes off the road, he asked Tara "Your house or TM?"

Tara's head eyes snapped up to meet Frankie's and then mine. Her eyes were asking me something I couldn't quite discern, so I offered her a shrug. Tara generally like to be left to her own devices when she was upset but it usually wasn't for the best. I wanted her to come with us; maybe we could cheer her up. But that decision was on her.

She swallowed hard and looked back at Frankie. "TM's fine" her pale lips pressed firmly into a stoic line.

Again, the battling urge to shake Adam's hand while simultaneously shaking the shit out of him waged war inside me.

Frankie wordlessly turned the leather steering wheel left. I dug into my pockets for my Marlboro's and handed Tara one. She wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"Still haven't switched to menthols, I see," she commented casually, pulling out her own black Bic to light it.

I smirked. "And you still smoke those disgusting things, I see"

The corner of her mouth curled up in amusement. She shook her head. "One day you'll learn, Teller."

"Yeah, right. Those things crystallize your lungs or some shit."

She laughed out loud and blew a strand of hair out of her face.

"That's just an urban legend, Jax. That can't actually happen."

"Frankie?" I asked imploringly.

"Fuck if I know," he shrugged. "But they _are_ fucking gross" he added, flinching away from Tara anticipating an elbow.

She just rolled her eyes.

"Whatever" she laughed, leaning forward to turn up the radio.

_Underneath the bridge, the tarp has sprung a leak. And the animals I've trapped have all become my pets._

"This shit is depressing," Frankie echoed my thoughts as he reached to change the station.

Tara swatted at his hand. "I love this song."

_Something in the way, mmm. Something in the way, yeah. Mmmm._

"Why? It's terrible." Frankie told her as he touched the dial.

Tara shrugged. "I don't know. What's wrong with Nirvana?"

"Nothing's wrong with them," I butted in. "That song just sucks. That'll kill anyone's good mood real quick."

"Who said?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

I had to laugh. "_I_ said."

"You're both wrong. Nirvana sucks. All of their songs make me want to put a bullet in my brain. We ain't listening to that shit in here."

Notorious BIG's "Juicy" filtered through the speakers. "There," said Frankie. "Much better."

Tara eyeballed him but didn't complain. "You're lucky I like this song," she emptily threatened.

"Wouldn't care if you didn't, sunshine" he replied smiling sweetly at her.

XOXOXOX

We pulled into TM and piled out of the truck. Tara dug through her bag and found a pack of menthols and lit one as my mom walked out of the office toward us.

"I'd offer you one but.." she explained looking at me.

I held my hand up stopping her. "Please. Keep it. You can have your crystallized lungs."

She laughed. _Points for me. _

"Hey, baby" Gemma said hugging me tightly to her.

"Hey, mom."

"Hey boys," she greeted the rest of the guys, dropping kisses on their cheeks. " I'm glad you all made it to school today. And stayed all day by the looks of it."

Her eyes landed on Tara. "Tara! Sweetheart!" she exclaimed, surprised to see the pretty brunette. She placed a gentle hand on Tara's shoulder. "Everything going okay at home?" she asked, not bothering to beat around the bush.

Tara bit her lip but smiled. "Things are… things, Mrs. Teller. But thank you for asking."

Gemma gave her a concerned look.

"Really, Mrs. Teller. Everything's fine," Tara assured her. "You know; no worse, no better. We're good."

Gemma sighed. "Okay, but you would let me know if things were worse, wouldn't you?"

"Of course," Tara lied sweetly through her teeth. Tara would never tell anyone if things were worse, _especially_ not my mom and _especially_ not the SAMCRO Queen. She didn't want to be pitied and she didn't want to admit when she needed help. It was just another thing for her to internalize and twist herself up with, but there was no way any of us were going to change that about her.

Mom had always been sweet on Tara, even more so after her mom died. Then, when Tommy had died, Tara had been a big help around the house and Gemma respected the hell out of her for it. She wasn't really thrilled when she'd heard about my little stunt with Suzie last year. She knew Tara hadn't deserved it.

"Are you boys hungry?" mom asked.

Tara snorted. "Do you even have to ask?"

Mom chuckled. "I guess that is a pretty silly question. There's leftovers in the bar. We have some of the other charters in town so there's a whole spread for you guys."

I leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, mom"

"Yeah, thanks Gem." The guys echoed as they made a dash for the club house. Tara followed behind them at her own pace and I was in no rush.

"You know, you could tell my mom if you or your dad needed something" I started.

Tara held up a hand, silencing me. "Jax, we've been through this. Things are fine until they're not fine and then they'll be fine again. It's fine."

"My dad always tells me that when a chick says something's "fine" it's definitely not fine… it's like the _opposite_ of fine."

"It's _fine_" she repeated in exasperation.

"Okay, okay. Just making sure you know."

She tilted her head slightly to meet my eyes and took a deep breath. "I know, Jax. Thank you," she said quietly before pushing open the club house door allowing the cacophony inside to effectively end the conversation.

**A/N: I'm going to make some minor edits to a few of the other chapters this weekend. After my long hiatus I need to kind of regroup on a few things. So apologies for all of the chapter update notices**.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Again, apologies for the delays between chapters. Also, I'm struggling keeping this first person so apologies if I'm changing narrative perspective. I was tempted to go back and do a total rewrite… but I can't work out the best way to do it. Any input is much appreciated! Hope you guys like it. **

Tara POV

We'd been sitting at a high top table for the better part of an hour when a strong arm reached around me, setting down more Tequila shots than it seemed possible for one person to carry. I looked up to see Adam's brown eyes looking down at me as he leaned in to kiss my cheek. I grabbed a shot and downed it in hopes of calming my sudden onset of jitters.

"Hey, T. I'm glad you're here. Sorry I wasn't able to catch you after school. Jury here twisted my arm into leaving early since he was coming into town. I tried to call you but I guess your cell is off? I called Kristina but she said you guys split up after school"

A second of anger over Kris and confusion over my phone fogged my brain until I realized my dad probably hadn't paid the bill… again.

An older gentleman I kind of recognized clapped Adam on the shoulder. "You make it sound like I had to bribe ya, kid. I just wanted to see my God son. Shit, it's been damn near five years since your momma let me see you." Jury said it jovially enough, but the thought of Adam's mom and her hatred of the club was like a vacuum, sucking the air out of the room. "Though you coulda' told me you had a date with a pretty girl like this. I probably would've let you off the hook," he joked, winking warmly at me.

I could feel the blush flaming across my features. "Oh, no. It's fine." I laughed. "These guys had it covered," I replied, gesturing around the table.

"Well, at least these punks are good for something" he laughed heartily, grabbing Jax into a headlock to give him a noogie.

I felt Adam put his arm around the back of my chair and lean ever so slightly into me so my shoulder was just barely touching his chest. We were hardly even touching but the proximity made my hands slick – that feeling of wanting to lean closer but needing to keep a distance sent a tingle through my spine.

Jax good-naturedly pushed Jury off of him, offering a genuine smile that could seriously burst lightbulbs.

"How long you in town for, old man?"

"Oh, you know. However long it takes. Got a few things we gotta take care of up here before we can head back home."

Jax nodded. "So probably awhile" Jax stated knowingly.

Jury raised an eyebrow at him. "And what do _you_ know about that? Wait. No. Don't tell me. I don't want to know. I need to tell your dad you been eavesdroppin' again."

Jax shrugged. "If you guys would just let us prospect already we wouldn't have to eavesdrop." Opie and Ryan nodded in agreement.

"Well, son, you know the rules. You gotta wait a couple more years. But don't worry" he continued as Jax tried to interrupt, "I'm pretty sure they'll work something out for you… just try to hold your horses there."

The look on Jax' face was so sulky, I couldn't help but laugh. He looked sharply at me but caught himself, his eyes apologizing for the quick reflex. I couldn't be mad at him. Ever since we were little, all he'd ever wanted was a bike and a kutte. I just never understood the allure.

"Well don't laugh too hard there, pretty lady. I'm working on getting that boyfriend of yours into a prospect kutte right now," he smiled, shooting a knowing look over my head to Adam.

"He's not her boyfriend" interjected Opie.

Jury sputtered, laughing and nearly choked on his beer. He looked around the table and smiled. "O-kay, kids. That's my cue. This old man is too old for you youngsters… never can understand what the hell is going on with you all; your damn alternative rock and baggy jeans and new age lingo." He lightly tapped the table and shook his head. "You kids stay out of trouble, alright? And Adam, remember what I said. Jax, Opie, I'll see you over at Gemma's. Think she's having one of her famous family dinners." He gave me a small nod and walked away.

I felt the warmth as Adam consciously leaned closer to me under the angry gaze of not only Jax, but Ryan and Opie as well.

"They're letting you prospect?" Opie asked dully, though the anger behind his eyes was anything but.

Adam nervously rubbed the back of his head. "Ah, you know Jury. He's talking about how it's my old man's legacy and it's the natural progression… all that bullshit."

"You didn't answer the question" spoke Jax dangerously.

"Whoa, guys. Come on. Chill out. I've never even thought about prospecting before. I mean, don't get me wrong, the club is great, right? But my dad… and my mom…" Adam trailed off; eyes vacant; his thoughts clearly shifting to deeper, darker things. He shook his head. "And I drive a cage for fuck's sake," he reasoned, like it meant something.

"Yeah, guys…a _cage_!" I emphasized cartoonishly, trying to break up some of the tension. Jax' eyes shot sharply to mine again, but they held no apology this time.

"So you're not gonna prospect?" asked Ryan in disbelief. After he'd had a minute to reflect, he didn't seem to share whatever issues Jax and Opie had with the idea. "But they'd totally take you and you know they'd patch you in. You're a legacy!"

Adam shrugged, obviously wishing they'd just drop the subject.

At that moment, John Teller decided to save the day, though he undoubtedly had no idea he was doing so.

"Jackson, your mother wants you home in 30 minutes. Everyone's clearing out of here and headed to our house for – "

"Family dinner," Jax grumbled. "Yeah, I know." John squinted an eye, analyzing him, but didn't say anything.

"Woodley, Ope, Frankie you guys coming?"

"What, I don't get an invite?" asked Ryan.

"Son, I _told_ you. You can't keep staring at Luann's tits. Gemma said you're out on this one, you're giving Luanne the creeps." He shook his head and placed a hand on Ryan's back. "Next one, I promise; as long as _you_ promise to stop being such a creeper. Not only is that Otto's old lady, that's Gemma's best friend. Even God can't save you from the Queen."

John turned his attention to the others.

Opie nodded. "Yeah, I'm in. Mom will probably need help carrying Piney home anyway."

"Sorry, J.T, I think I'm heading home. I've been with Jury all day; mom probably needs me at the house. You know how she gets," mumbled Adam.

"Okay, kid. Understood. You take care of that mom of yours. She's a good lady." Adam offered a nod in affirmation.

"Yeah, I need to get home too. I guess I'll take Ryan since he's on Gemma's shit list" Frankie laughed, throwing an empty peanut shell at Ryan.

"What about you, Tara? There's more than enough food at the house. We can fix your old man a plate for you to take home to him." _Dammit_, I thought. _Someone must have said something to him- Gemma no doubt._

"It's okay, Mr. Teller. I was going to head home soon anyway. Thank you for the invite though. I really do appreciate it."

"You sure?" he asked, not convinced.

"Positive," I smiled at him. "I've got a lot of homework to do and these hooligans convinced me to put it off long enough already."

"Alright then. Frankie, you mind dropping Tara off when you head out?"

Adam stood up a little straighter. "I can take her. She's on my way."

My heart skipped a step, stuttering.

John looked from Adam to me like he was trying to solve some puzzle but gave up after a few seconds.

"Alright, just be safe. That's precious cargo you're hauling" he smiled, ruffling the hair on my head.

Adam looked down at me. "You ready?" he asked coolly, though I recognized the pleading undertone. He needed to get out of the clubhouse. Now.

"Yeah, sure am," I smiled, hopping off the bar stool and grabbing my things.

"Thanks for giving me a ride earlier, Frankie. I really appreciate it."

Frankie tipped his beer up in a silent "you're welcome".

I forced myself to meet Jax' eyes, though I'd been avoiding them ever since his dad walked over.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye, Mr. Teller" I said as Adam led me out of the clubhouse to his car.

**XOXOXOX**

Jax POV

My hand tightened around the beer bottle I held as I watch Adam lead Tara from the clubhouse, his hand on the small of her back. First that prick tries to move in on my girl and now he's getting to prospect?

"Careful, son. You might end up with stitches if you clench that bottle any tighter." My dad's words brought me out of my murderous musings.

I said nothing, just released the beer so I could pour myself a tequila shot instead.

"Thought you two weren't together anymore?" he continued.

"We aren't," I answered flatly as I slammed the tequila down and poured another.

"So why does it feel like I might need to lock you down in a straightjacket you so you don't break that poor kids jaw?"

"His jaw's not the only thing he needs to worry about," I muttered under my breath before downing another shot.

"Look son, I'm not telling you how to live your life, but didn't you cheat on that poor girl? She got locked up and kicked out of school because of it, didn't she?"

"Hell yeah she did!" Ryan confirmed a bit too proudly.

I didn't say anything.

"Well if it's got you this ate up, why don't you do something about it? Why sit there and let the Woodley boy have a swing at her?"

When I didn't respond, John just shook his head.

"I know you think I don't understand, Jax, but I do. I really do. If you want that girl, you gotta go after her; reason be damned. Tara's a good one. She's not going to sit around on her ass waiting you or anyone else for that matter. If you don't make the move, she'll move… and she'll be moving on. That girl has a restless soul; always searching for the right thing. Been like that ever since she was a little girl. Don't lose that."

Tired of talking about Tara, I changed the subject.

"You're letting him prospect?"

A confused frown grew on John's face.

"Where'd you hear that from?"

"Jury," Jax bit contemptuously.

John's shoulders visibly slumped and he dropped into the barstool Tara had just vacated.

"You know how this works, Jackson. I don't know anything about Adam prospecting but, if Jury wants to sponsor him or if the kid can get someone else to sponsor him and the club votes on it –" he paused looking hard at Jax. "Well if the club votes, then it is what it is, son. The boy's old enough. If that's what he wants to do and if that's what the club wants him to do…" John shrugged.

Jax stayed silent, focused on peeling the label off the beer bottle in front of him.

"He doesn't have a bike though," Opie reminded John.

"Well, see, then what are you boys worried about?"

Opie shook his head. "We're not _worried_, John. We're _ready_." Opie motioned to the other boys sitting at the table. "We're ready to prospect."

John sighed. "Come on, Opie. You know the rules just as well as anyone. Not until you're 17."

"We know the rules, but we're also family. It's in our blood. We were raised for this. I know why the new guys have to be 17, but we _are_ SAMCRO. We were born and bred for this. I don't get it; we know what we want, so why're you making us wait?"

John shook his head. "Look boys, I'm not here to argue with you. 17. Those are the rules. If they ever change, you'll be the first to know," he promised as he pushed away from the table heading toward the exit.

He stopped briefly, placing his hand on Jax' shoulder.

"I know it's hard seeing one of your friends join up before you can. But you know, prospects don't usually have a lot of free time outside of the club. You never know how that might work out in your favor," John reasoned, giving Jax a knowing look.


	9. Chapter 9

Tara POV

Adam dropped like lead into the driver's seat and rested his hands on the wheel, not bothering to start the engine. It was queerly quiet and I wasn't sure if I should speak or let him have a moment to regroup. His shoulders hung under the weight of the last ten minutes and all I wanted was to console him but I wasn't quite sure how to do so. My insides ached to see his distress.

The silence stretched on and the ache in my chest grew. Adam was normally so even-keeled. He never took anything too seriously and always upheld the laidback demeanor he was known for. This was a side I'd only glimpsed in flashes when our phone calls had turned to heavier things, like his family.

Finally, I reached out a hand and placed it on his shoulder. He slowly turned his head and met my eyes. I could see he was searching for something to say, but the look in his eyes told me he was at a loss. I wasn't sure what to say either. The guys had definitely not been subtle about their distaste. Even if Adam had no intention of prospecting, the idea alone had created a crippling chasm, bringing the previously unspoken underpinnings to the forefront.

"It's okay, you know. They'll come around," I offered.

When he didn't say anything, I continued.

"They've wanted to be in the club since they were driving Big Wheels. This isn't about you. I promise. Please don't take it personal."

"They aren't exactly good at using their words," I added, trying to bring some levity to the situation.

Adam let out a bitter laugh. "Oh, I think they used their words pretty well just now."

I gave him a small smile.

He shook his head and turned the key, the classic engine roaring to life. We drove off the lot and sat in silence a little longer. We came to a fork in the road and he turned to me thoughtfully.

"You wanna grab something to eat?"

My eyes darted to my phone, looking at the time. He noticed.

"It's okay if you can't. I know your dad..." He didn't finish his sentence but he didn't have to. I guess I'd hoped he'd forgotten whatever memories he'd had of my dad, but apparently that was too much to wish for.

"No, it's fine. I'm down. " I replied, feeling a genuine smile play across my lips.

"You sure?" he asked tentatively.

"Yeah. Definitely." We hadn't actually hung out one on one before and I definitely wasn't going to pass up the chance, drunken daddy be damned.

He smiled a crooked smile. "Cool" he said, a small sign of relief crossing his face.

**XOXOXOX**

We slid into the red vinyl booth and smiled cautiously at each other. The waitress came and took our order and then left us to navigate through our first date. Was this considered a date, I wondered?

Adam anxiously stroked his beard. "Thanks for coming with me. I wasn't really ready to go face Ma after the clubhouse. Just needed a little breather, I guess. Get my head right before I head home. Ma doesn't really have anything good to say about SAMCRO or anyone associated with it. Probably would just turn into a drunken fight if I went straight there," he admitted.

"No, I get it. Offspring of alcoholics unite!" I joked lightly, trying not to wade too far into the deep end just yet.

Adam smiled warmly. "At least someone understands, though I guess that's a pretty shitty thing to commiserate over."

I shrugged. "True, but misery loves company right?"

"I guess. But you're too nice of a person to have to keep me company in that. You shouldn't have to live your life with that kind of cloud hanging over you."

I tried to fight my blush. "After my mom died, my dad gave me some words to live by. He said 'life's not fair. It's never gonna be fair. If you need looking after, you need to be looking after yourself. No one's gonna do it for you, no one's gonna help you. If you're waiting on someone else, you're always gonna be disappointed."

Adam's jaw dropped but he quickly recovered. "That's pretty shitty advice to give to a little girl who's mom just died."

"Maybe, but that doesn't make it less true."

It was Adam's turn to shrug. He stared silently at me, like he was inspecting me before he spoke again.

"You're a pretty touch chick, you know that T?"

I laughed. "I get by, I guess."

"No, I mean it. When we were kids, all the other girls would run home crying when they'd scrape their knees or when we pulled their pigtails. But you; you'd just brush the dirt off or punch us in the kidney and keep on keepin' on." He paused. "And now? I've heard the stories. You're still holding your own."

"You should know better than to believe everything you hear," I smiled.

Adam smiled widely and shook his head before his face fell once more. His gaze shifted out the diner window.

"The guys… they were really pissed huh?"

I took a deep breath. "They were, but they'll get over it."

"You know, prospecting never even crossed my mind. I seriously never even gave it a thought. I didn't come back to Charming to be some reformed goody-two shoes or anything but I never planned to try and join up with SAMCRO. I never expected to start hanging out with Jax again and I definitely never expected to step foot in the club house again."

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I don't know how it all got so fucked up."

I pressed my lips together turning his words over in my head. I had definitely been there. One minute your life is on a certain trajectory and within half the blink of an eye you're upside down, swimming in the Swamp of Sadness.

"Well, I mean, are you considering it now that it's an option?" I asked, honestly curious.

The question seemed to jolt something in him.

He lifted his head and stared at me for another second before turning back to the window.

"When dad went to prison, I wasn't even mad about it. I mean, sure, shit sucked at home but I was never mad at the club over it. If anything I was kind of proud of my old man. He didn't rat. He did his time. That's what a real outlaw does. Back then, I thought he was a bad ass."

He stopped and took a stabilizing breath.

"But when he died… I don't know. It was like a switch got flipped. I blamed the MC for not taking care of him. I blamed him for putting the club before his own life. I have no doubt he knew it was coming, knew what was gonna happen to him. He never said anything; not to me, not to Ma. He knew there was a hit out on him and no one did anything to stop it. And that's when I started to get mad." His fists flexed reflexively.

"Ma came undone after that. Gemma, Mary… they tried to help her – tried to help her pick up the pieces. When he was inside, she'd let them. They made sure we ate, made sure the electricity stayed on. After he died though? She wanted to tear their eyes out; didn't care if the water got turned off, if the electricity went out. Gemma tried everything to get through to her; the good cop routine, the bad cop routine, the "get your head out of your ass you have a boy to raise" routine. Nothing. It only made it worse. "

I gently reached across the table and squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"As her anger at the club grew, mine grew accordingly. It's stupid. I mean, it wasn't _really_ their fault. Dad chose the club and the life that came with it. But I was young; I couldn't wrap my brain around it. I just knew he was gone and he might as well have taken Ma with him. She just kept drinking – Malibu and Hawaiian Punch - from the time she opened her eyes til the time she passed out again. The smell of that shit still makes me sick."

I nodded in understanding. My dad didn't take the time to mask the bourbon with filler, but the smell of it was permanently seared in my memory.

He shook his head. "She started picking fights with me. I think she got so sloshed sometimes she thought I was him. I don't know…I did everything right. Stayed away from the guys, came home right after school, never stayed out – anything I could think of to try to take the burden off of her. But she never seemed to notice the good, only the bad. Then one day I came home and there was a reform school brochure on the table. Not sure where the hell she got it, it wasn't like she could ever muster up the strength to leave the house. Regardless, somehow she got the idea in her head and that was the end of it. Off I went"

The turmoil boiling in his eyes stirred something inside me. It was like my own personal internal monologue had been written onto pages and here Adam was, reciting it back to me; different, yet still the same.

I smiled encouragingly at him. I didn't have any words to offer. Nothing anyone said had ever made me feel better about my situations. Why force him to sit through my petty, meaningless words knowing they wouldn't change anything?

"And now?" I prompted.

"Now what?"

"How do you feel about the club now?"

Adam let out a low breath. "I don't know. I guess the time away, the separation from it all…. It let me see it all a little clearer. It's not my mom's fault. It's not my dad's fault. It's not the club's fault. People make their choices and they live with those choices. Unfortunately, the people close to them have to live with those choices too. I guess it's kinda like what your old man told you. You make your life what it is. You can't fault anyone else for your life or what you choose to do with it. I'm not mad at the club. But I don't want to prospect. It would kill Ma, literally kill her. And there's no guarantee that what happened to my old man won't happen to me too. I mean they seem like they've gone legit right… but what do I know? The outlaw pendulum's always swinging. No one knows when the hammer's gonna fall."

"Well, it sounds like you've given it more thought than you're willing to admit but-" I squeezed his hand when he looked like he was going to correct me. "But I think that that's a good thing. It seems like you know what you want and SAMCRO isn't it. Jax, Opie… they'll come around. I know it's a kick in the gut that they reacted like that but it's a non-issue. You don't want to prospect – so you're not going to. End of story." It seemed simple to me.

"I know you're right, but it still bugs me. Would it really be so bad to them if I wanted to?" he scrambled quickly when I raised an eyebrow. "I don't want to, but if I did, would it really be that big of a deal?"

"Adam, really. Please don't take it personal. They would've had that reaction if it was anybody. Their like ten year olds who've been saving up all of their allowance for Disney World and their best friend got to go without them. It's just a little bit of jealousy. They're so close they can taste it but you're getting a chance to drink before they can. It pissed them off."

"_It's not personal_," I stressed again.

Adam nodded.

"Alright, enough with the heavy. Let's talk about something else," he suggested and I happily obliged, fearing that any further talks of heavy might drift over to my side and I definitely didn't want to divulge my darkness tonight.

We camped out at the table the rest of the night just bullshitting until we noticed the staff noisily closing the diner down. I finally looked around and realized we were the only ones left. We'd been there for hours.

Adam cleared his throat. "Uh, I think they're trying to kick us out."

I laughed. "Yeah, it does seem that way. Either that or our waitress is _really_ angry at that rolled silverware.

"I'll be sure to leave her a good tip" he joked.

"No, it's okay. I got it," I replied instinctually.

He furrowed his brow at me. "T, it's fine. I'll take care of it. Can't have you going around telling people I made my date pick up the tab."

"I wasn't gonna pick up the tab," I winked at him. "Just the tip. At least let me do that much."

"Not a chance, beautiful. Look, T, I get it. You're one of those "progressive" chicks. But not on my watch. I got this covered. It's the least I can do after you listened to me whine like a baby earlier."

I finally acquiesced and put my wallet back in my bag.

"And you weren't whining," I added. "I like that you can talk to me."

A smile stole across his face. "I like that too."

As we walked out of the diner, I felt his strong fingers lock in between mine as he led me through the parking lot and opened the passenger's side door. It felt a little cheesy, but it was a sweet gesture all the same.

We finally pulled up to my house. I didn't want to get out of the car but, for once, it wasn't because I dreaded the welcoming committee waiting inside. For a fleeting moment tonight, I felt good. The never ending swirl of anxieties had quieted for a few hours. I almost didn't know what to do with myself.

I reluctantly unbuckled my seatbelt and started to grab my things.

"Here, let me walk you to the door," he offered.

His chivalry stunned me. I wasn't the kind of girl who had guys walk her to her door.

"Oh. That's okay. You don't have to. Actually, it's probably better if you don't..." I glanced at the front door, anxieties slowly starting to leak their way back in.

"Right. Gotcha. No, I get it. He's probably already gonna be kinda pissed huh? Sorry. I kept you out a little later than I planned."

"Oh, no. Don't apologize. I had fun. It was…nice," I managed, suddenly at a loss for words.

"Good. Then I guess we'll have to do it again sometime," he said hopefully.

"Definitely," I managed to whisper.

The word hung in the thick air between us. My nerves were on high alert, waiting for the next move that neither one of us seemed sure enough to make.

His eyes asked the question and mine must've answered because he leaned across the middle console and softly pressed his lips to mine. I deepened the kiss and felt his thumb brush across my cheekbone as he drew me closer. It wasn't ecstasy, but it was comfortable and comfort was something I'd been in short supply of for long time.

Slowly I pulled back, biting my swollen lip.

"Good night, Tara."

"Night, Adam."

I grudgingly walked across my lawn to the front door. Adam waited until I'd gone inside before driving off. To my relief, dad was passed out on the couch, a Warriors vs. Spurs game playing loudly on the tv. I softly padded to my room, shut the door behind me and flipped on the radio. I lay back on my bed with a girlish smile on my face, staring at the ceiling, trying to relive every detail of the evening's conversation. My smile broadened at the sound of my text notification.

_Adam: Had a great time tonight. See you tomorrow._

For the first time in a long time, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN:OMG. I am SO sorry. I uploaded this chapter to the wrong story! Clearly I am sleep deprived by my teething baby! Moving to the correct story. Sorry guys!**

**I've been sitting on this for a while because I wanted to write the rest of the afternoon as the same chapter, but I just need to get it out. Your reviews motivate me so maybe this will get the ball rolling. **** Enjoy!**

**Jax POV**

It had been weeks since Adam and Tara had strolled onto campus hand in hand and I still couldn't find a way to get right with it. The ease with which they had settled into each other twisted something dark inside of me. Not that I could blame him; Tara was laidback in a way that made you feel comfortable laying all your cards on the table. It was a natural reflex to let you guard down when you found someone as empathetic as she, especially if you'd had a lot of heavy in your life. She was relatable, like talking with one of the guys… with the added bonus of being unintentionally gorgeous.

Fuck. I had to stop thinking about her.

But I was becoming increasingly aware that that was damn near impossible.

I'd tried damn near everything; bikes, booze, bitches, to no avail. I'd tried staying at the clubhouse for the distraction; tried losing myself in the inner workings of a cult classic model someone brought in from the junk yard; worked my way through half the girls on the JV and Varsity cheerleading squad until I realized I just kept picking up brunettes who looked like Tara.

I couldn't even find sanctuary with my friends because Adam and Tara were now a staple in our group setting. It was a double edged sword. Watching the two of them flirt made me nauseous. I had this nagging feeling in the back of my skull that things with Adam were going to end badly for Tara. It was more than simple jealousy, it was instinct. On the bright side, Tara and I were friendlier now that she seemed to be completely off limits to me and, though all I really had to do was say the word, I didn't want to be a dick and exclude them.

The bell rang and I moved to stand until Mrs. Schmidt cleared her throat.

"Mr. Teller. You were five minutes late, now you owe me five."

I shot her my most charming smile.

"Aw, come on, Mrs. Schmidt. You wouldn't want to make me late to my next class, would you?"

She smiled and clicked her tongue against her teeth.

"Mr. Teller, something tells me you weren't going to be on time anyway."

"Touche', Mrs. Schmidt. Touche'. That's why they keep you around, huh?"

She rolled her eyes. "Make yourself useful and straighten up the equipment on those lab stations over there," she instructed as she spun the dial on one of the lab table timers.

I shuffled around half-heartedly grouping beakers together and stacking microscope slides. I heard rubber soles squeaking across the tile but didn't pay any mind until the voice accompanying them spoke.

"Mrs. Schmidt?" her resonating voice questioned.

"Yes, you must be Ms. Knowles. I understand regular biology was too easy for you."

I spun around in time to see her cheeks flush pink as she dropped her eyes to her Vans and anxiously pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Mrs. Thresher though it would be better if I _challenged_ myself," she exaggerated the word as though it was the most ludicrous idea anyone had ever had.

"I see. Did Mrs. Whitman make you turn your textbook back in to her?"

"Yes maam. She said you would issue me another one."

Mrs. Schmidt clicked her teeth again.

"Of course she did. Well, unfortunately we are short on text books so you'll have to find another student to share with. We're all full up with lab partners as well so I'll have to place you in a group of three."

"Oh, that's fine. I'm sure I'll know at least one person I can share with."

"I can share mine with her, Mrs. Schmidt," I offered as Tara jumped at the sound of my voice.

"Jesus, Jax! I didn't notice you."

I smiled ruefully, "Yeah, I gathered."

"That's not-"

"It's cool, darling. I'm just helping Mrs. Schmidt with a few things."

"Ah, Mr. Teller – ever the gentleman. But won't you need your book to study yourself?" Mrs. Schmidt asked, though everyone in the room knew it was a silly question.

Tara laughed; half real laughter and half exasperation. "You don't have to do that, Jax. I'll find someone in the class."

"No point in all that, darling. I'll just pass you mine on the way out."

"But how am I supposed to get it back to you before you have to go to class."

I rolled my eyes. "It's not that big of a school, Tara."

"What about homework?" she asked and I smirked.

"What about it?"

Mrs. Schmidt cleared her throat. "Maybe Ms. Knowles will help motivate you to actually do yours for a change?"

Tara stared back at me long and hard and I could see the hamster wheels in her brain turning before she finally shrugged.

"Okay. That's cool. Thanks, Jax."

Mrs. Schmidt's timer went off and I realized the class was starting to fill up. I walked over to my desk, picked up my book and headed over to Tara who was still unsurely glued to Mrs. Schmidt's desk. I handed her the book and she smiled, a small smile but still enough to knock me off my feet. As it was, my face betrayed me and responded with entirely too large a smile in return.

"I'll get with you after school" she yelled over her shoulder as I walked into the hallway.

Something told me that this was quite possibly my best move yet.

**XOXOXOX**

**Tara POV**

I mindlessly twirled my hair as Mrs. Schmidt rambled on about mitochondria and cell structure. If this was what honors biology was about, I had a feeling it was going to be a long year. Not that I had particularly wanted to transfer to an accelerated class, but I had hoped it would be slightly less boring at least. But apparently, accelerated was just that – accelerating through the same old bullshit curriculum just at a faster pace.

I stared blankly at the bright white book cover, thankful that I hadn't had to share with someone in class. It was bad enough that my two lab partners were the most socially awkward guys I'd ever met. I had nothing against geeks, I could be a bit of a bookworm myself after all, but I couldn't even get them to make eye contact when they were talking to me. At least this way I didn't have to force conversation while staring at the pages together. I silently thanked God that Jax didn't give a shit about school and was willing to help me out.

It still seemed a strange coincidence that he had been there at that exact opportune time, but I definitely wasn't complaining. Things had been better lately. There wasn't the same tension between us that had infiltrated our interactions for so long. He knew I was with Adam now and he seemed to respect that. We could actually talk now and it was a nice change.

On the other hand, from where I was sitting, Jax didn't seem to be doing so hot. I couldn't quite pinpoint the root cause, but he seemed to be on shaky ground lately. Don't get me wrong. None of us were saints or anything, but his inebriations took on a sadder tone these days. We all had our pitfalls on our little island of misfit toys; we all cycled through the highs and lows. But Jax seemed to be at a low right now, and it made me sad. I knew he didn't really have anyone who understood. Everyone thought he was this MC Prince who had everything he wanted and no excuse to be so sad. But I saw how John's lingering absences bothered him; how Gemma's anxious fawning drained him. I tried to get him to talk to me about it one day when we'd had a moment to ourselves, but he just smiled through pursed lips, gave me a playful shoulder bump and said "I'm fine, Knowles. You worry too much."

I guess I couldn't expect him to open up, even now. He was never one to show much vulnerability to begin with and, though we'd come a long way the last few months, we'd never be the way we'd been before. After all, how could we be?

The final bell rang, snapping me from my musings and I shoved Jax' text book in my bag and headed for the door. Adam was already waiting for me.

I reached for his hand as he leaned down and gave me a small peck.

"How do you do that?" I asked.

He looked perplexed. "Do what?"

"Like apparate from thin air? Don't you have class across campus?"

Adam shrugged. "I do what I want," he smiled and squeezed my hand.

I felt someone bump into me and turned to see Ryan smirking down at me as he reached to shake hands with Adam.

"What are you two love birds up to today?"

"Ah, you know. Same shit, different day. I'm gonna drop Tara at her house and then I gotta head into work.

"Sucks, man. When's your next day off?" Ryan asked and I cringed at the question as Adam's grip on my hand tightened a little.

"I don't know man. Ma's been needing a little extra help lately so I've been trying to pick up a few shifts here and there."

"Say no more, man. I got you. Shitty man, but you gotta do what you gotta do."

Adam nodded in assent.

"Who's gotta do what now?" Opie asked, joining us as we walked through the parking lot.

"Adam's gotta work this afternoon," I piped up, hoping to keep the full explanation at bay.

"Again? Damn, I figured most of the jocks would be too busy with football season to be hitting the cages," Opie said.

Adam tiredly ran his hand over his face, down his beard. "Yeah, you know. The little kids have fall ball and all that shit and I've been doing a lot of maintenance on the machines. Trying to keep up the grounds and shit."

"We should go by there," Ryan proposed. "I can't remember the last time I swung a bat."

"Who are we swinging bats at now?" Jax asked as we approached and Frankie laughed.

"Naw man, I was talking about going out to the cages and swinging a few. We haven't done that shit since we were kids," Ryan explained.

A flatness fell across Jax' face but he quickly recovered. My heart broke a little as a memory of Jax feeding quarters into the pitching machines for a tiny Tommy dressed in baggy baseball pants flashed across my mind.

"Yeah, it's been awhile. We should do that one day," Jax agreed.

"Shit, why not today?" Ryan asked.

"Today?" Opie asked skeptically, clearly not as excited about the idea.

"Yeah, today, fucker. What else do we have to do?" Ryan reasoned.

Opie frowned but shrugged.

"That cool with you, Woodley?"

Adam rubbed the back of his head. I could tell he was tired. The hours and his mom had been draining on him.

"Yeah, that's cool. I'm gonna drop T off and then head over there. Gimme 30?"

"Why do you need to drop her off? Rocky, you should come too," Opie suggested.

"Ohhhhh, I don't know. I don't really get down on baseball."

"And I do?" Opie raised an eyebrow. "Come on, you can keep me company while these assholes make fools out of themselves."

I looked at Adam, not sure how he felt about me just showing up at his work like that.

He swung our joined hands and smiled. "Yeah, you should come. You'll brighten up the place a little."

I felt my chest expand with giddiness. Sometimes Adam really made me feel like a silly little schoolgirl, in a good way.

"Alright, well we'll just meet you guys there then," Adam said.

"We're gonna have to make a pitstop first. Can't expect me to sit through that shit sober," Opie responded begrudgingly.

Adam laughed. "Whatever you gotta do, man."

"Rocky, you wanna ride with us and we'll take you up there with us?"

"Um…I.." Of course I wanted to go smoke with them, but I didn't want to bail on Adam.

Adam squeezed my hand and gave me a gentle nudge. "Go, you damn stoner. I'll see you in a little bit."

"You sure?" I asked, snaking an arm around his waist.

He wrapped his arm around in a side hug, pulling me to him and almost lifted me off the ground.

"Yes, I'm sure. Go. You're gonna need a good buzz to sit and watch these guys biff it on the machines," he laughed.

I smiled and stood on my tip toes to give him a kiss.

"Alright, we'll see you in a bit then," I told him before turning toward the motley crew of boys behind me.

"SHOTGUN!" I yelled triumphantly as I ran to the passenger side door.

"Fucking Rocky!" laughed Ryan and the other guys rolled their eyes.

The guys lumbered over to the truck as Adam turned to walk to his car.

I saw a subtle exchange of words between Opie and Jax and then Opie pushed him toward the cab of the truck. I shot Opie a 'what the fuck?' look but he feigned innocent. Clearly he still couldn't get on board with the fact that the Tara and Jax ship had sailed and sunk. Jax smiled apologetically before opening the door and letting me climb in.

"You know, I thought I called shotgun, not bitch" I said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, I'll let you argue with Opie next time," Jax retorted lightly.

Frankie looked at both of us and shook his head.

"What?" Jax and I asked at the same time.

Frankie just shook his head again and started the engine. "You guys are crazy. Every last damn one of you."


	11. Chapter 11

Tara POV

Opie sat next to me on the top of the faded red picnic table as the other guys followed Adam to grab helmets.

"You sure you don't wanna take a few swings?" I asked him.

"Naw, I'm good. Never really cared for that shit anyway."

"It's a great way to get out your aggression," I added.

Opie laughed loudly. "I'm not the one that had to take anger management classes, remember?"

I flipped him off in response.

That just made him laugh louder. "My point exactly."

"The classes were part of the probation, asshole," I informed him. "I didn't really need them."

"_Sure_ you didn't, Rocky."

I gave him a hard shove.

"Help! Security! This girl over here is abusing me!" he yelled jokingly.

"You sure you want to ruin your reputation by telling people a girl beat you up?"

Opie shook his head laughing. "I don't think anyone would think less of me if they knew it was _you_ doing the beating," he smirked.

"Fuck you," I laughed.

I heard the guys coming back before I saw them. All their loud hooting and hollering was probably scaring the little teeball kids and their parents. A laugh escaped me as Frankie pushed Ryan into a ball cart, spilling bright yellow softballs everywhere. I wondered if Adam's manager would give him a hard time about our little group excursion later.

Adam palmed a helmet and set it lightly on my head. "Hold this for a sec," he said as he moved to unlock one of the cages.

Jax was a few steps away taking practice swings but stopped mid-swing and looked at me. "That's a good look on you, Knowles."

I rolled my eyes and repositioned the helmet so it wasn't covering my eyes.

Adam got them situated and walked back over to me, taking the oversized helmet from my head.

"You gonna take a few swings?" he asked.

I shrugged.

"What, you worried we're gonna laugh at you?" Opie asked.

"Um, you mean worried you'll be jealous of me?" I asked with a snarky grin.

Adam laughed. "You should take a turn," he told me. "It would be good for you," he added knowingly.

I bit my tongue but shot him an annoyed look. I didn't like talking about my feelings but somehow Adam had squeezed a little out of me during our nightly talks and right now I was cursing myself for it. Talking about it then was one thing, but it was another bringing it up elsewhere… or bringing it up at all really unless I did so first.

Obviously sensing my annoyance, he gently grabbed the ticklish spot on my rib and kissed the crown of my head. "It'd be good for you," he reiterated. "I have a few things I have to take care of. I'll check back on you guys in a little bit," he said.

Opie placed his palms on the table top for support and leaned back, staring ahead at the guys getting setup. He stole a quick glance at me from the corner of his eye.

"What was that about?" he asked.

"What was what about?" I replied innocently. Opie was the same as me when it came to showing emotions, preferring to internalize and detach rather than express, and I hoped that my dismissal of the question would be enough for him to drop it.

"That 'I'm going to cut your balls off' look you just gave your boyfriend."

I shrugged and leaned forward, not saying anything. Opie and I were cool with comfortable silences. It's probably why he didn't mind me hanging around, unlike most of the other girls that waltzed in and out of the guys' lives. Unfortunately for me, he seemed to be in a talkative mood today.

"Something happen with your dad?" he asked. It was more of a grunt, but he knew this was dangerous territory and I assumed he wanted to make sure no one heard the question but me.

I sighed and looked over to him. He wasn't looking at me, probably hoping that allowing me that tiny bit of privacy made up for the weight of his question. I turned back to staring at the cages.

"What hasn't happened with my dad, Ope?" I asked lightly, not really having the energy or the words for a conversation about my feelings.

The table creaked as he shifted his weight slightly. "You know what I mean, Tara."

I fidgeted uncomfortably, rubbing at the anxiety razing against my forearms.

"Same ol' same ol'. Nothing to worry about."

Opie cleared his throat, equally uncomfortable with the conversation but still pressing for some ungodly reason.

"I know the anniversary is coming up…"

I felt myself take a sharp breath as a rush of adrenaline threatened to burst through every vein in my body.

"You really wanna do this right now?" I asked, annoyed.

Opie shrugged, still not looking at me.

"Let's try this," I offered tactically. "How are _your_ parents doing?"

He laughed a cynical laugh.

"Alright fine, you don't have to talk about it. Don't get mad at me though. Your boytoy's the one that brought it up," he reminded me. "I just figured he did it on purpose. Maybe he wanted you to talk to someone else about it."

An unbecoming huff escaped me, knowing he was probably right.

"You guys seem pretty happy. Well, besides the wanting to cut his balls off thing," he observed.

"That's it," I said, shifting abruptly to square up with him. "Whatever alien race abducted you and replaced you with some gossipy alien girl, I'm going to need to talk to them about bringing my chill friend Opie back."

He held up his hands defensively. "Just making conversation."

"Mm hmm, somehow I find that hard to believe."

We sat silently for a moment watching Jax connect with some solid hits.

I took a deep breath to settle myself.

"We _are_ happy, I think." I conceded after a few more minutes of silence.

"You think?" he asked. "Seems like a normal person would have a more affirmative answer than that."

I let out a short snort. "Not sure anyone's ever described me as 'normal', Ope."

"Still," he added.

"I don't know, Ope. I mean he's cool. He treats me nice. Seems like he might actually give a shit about me," I explained.

His face hardened as though I'd pained him. "A lot of people give a shit about you, Tara."

"I know, Ope. That's not what I mean. I guess… I don't know... It's just kind of nice having someone want to look out for me for once."

Opie leaned forward so he could look me directly in the eyes.

"We look out for you."

I pressed my lips together tightly, trying to form my thoughts into suitable words.

"I'm not trying to be mean and please don't take this the wrong way. I love hanging out with you guys again. I really do love the shit out of yall; you, Ryan, Jax, hell… even fucking Frankie. But let's be real for a minute. Where were you guys when shit went south with me and Jax last year? Where were you when I was in juvie? In alternative school? On house arrest? Face it, Ope. Jax got custody of the friends in our split."

He opened his mouth to defend himself but I cut him off.

"And I don't blame you. I really don't. I understand. I get it. You've been friends with Jax since you were in diapers. You're always going to choose him. And I get that. I do. I guess what I mean is, at the end of the day, if push comes to shove…. I don't know, Ope. Who do I have really? When shit goes sideways, when lines get drawn, who's standing on my side of the line?"

I didn't expect an answer from him. I meant what I said about understanding why it went down the way it went down. But I also hoped that he could understand my side. Ever since my mom died, the only person who had ever unequivocally had my back had been Kristina. And it had felt good these last couple of months thinking that maybe Adam had my back too.

Opie stayed quiet for a long time. Kids squealed off in the distance. A steady crack sounded from the guys' cage in front of us. I almost thought he'd dropped it when I finally spoke again.

"That's not gonna happen again, Tara."

I sighed. "Of course it's not, Ope. That situation won't present itself again. But as much as you guys are my friends, you're each other's friends first. That's just the way it is. I'm not mad about it. It doesn't bother me…. Dammit Ope, this is why I don't talk about shit like this! I didn't mean anything by it. I was just trying to say… Fuck. I don't even know what I'm trying to say."

"I know what you're trying to say, Tara. And I'm telling you you're wrong. That might be how you felt, but that's not how it was and that's not how it is. You're family. Whether you accept it or not, you are part of this fucked up dysfunctional family now and I promise you that we always have your back; me, Ryan, Jax – we have your back Tara. Always."

My throat constricted a little as I tried to contain my emotions. As much as I wanted his words to be true, and as much as I knew he thought he meant it, I knew that that just wasn't how things worked. I don't know what hurt worse, the fact that he really thought he meant it or the fact that I really wished he did. So I just smiled.

"I know you don't believe it, Tara, but when Adam hurts you or when you take another backslide, we're gonna be there for you."

I scoffed a little. "_When _he hurts me?"

He pulled out a cigarette and lit it before offering me one.

"Yeah, w_hen_. Nobody's perfect, Tara. And when that happens, we'll still be here, whether you want us to or not," he replied before taking a deep drag.

My fingers shook ever so slightly as I lit mine. "You don't sound so optimistic about me staying on the straight and narrow either."

He laughed. "And you are? Honestly, I'll be surprised if we all make it to 25."

"Well, that's a little morbid, dude. We can at least make it to 27," I retorted.

We resumed our easy silence as we finished our cigarettes. Nerves still shot from the twist our conversation had taken, I dug through my bag until I found my menthols and immediately lit another. Opie did the same. Yeah, we definitely weren't good at dealing with emotions.

After a while, Jax made his way over to us and took a seat on the bench below us, twisting and turning side to side to stretch.

"You guys done?" Opie asked hopefully.

"You wish, bro. Can I bum one?" he asked Opie.

Jax lit his cigarette and ran a hand through his long blonde locks.

"Frankie bet Ryan he can out swing him. It was supposed to be just one round, then best out of three. But you know Ryan's a sore loser. I lost interest when they made it best out of five." He waved his hands to indicate that's why he was with us now.

The three of us sat bullshitting as the sun dropped lower and lower in the sky. Adam checked in here and there but apparently the little leaguers were tearing shit up and it was all hands on deck to take care of them. The sky had shifted into bright purples and pinks before Ryan and Frankie finally wandered back over to us.

"Jesus, dude. What did that end up being? Best out of 10?" Jax asked.

Ryan flipped him off.

"I don't know," said Frankie. "I lost count. I beat him every time though. Gotta give the little pecker credit, he's persistent."

"Not everytime, asshole. I won a few," Ryan pouted.

Frankie rolled his eyes. "Sure you did. You guys ready to roll?"

"Let me go say bye to Adam real quick and then we can go."

"We're not gonna wait around while you go make out with your boyfriend," Frankie yelled after me. Ryan started pretending to make out with the air. _Idiot._

"Fuck you!" I yelled, throwing my middle finger up as I walked to the opposite row of cages.

I found Adam in one of the cages messing with a housing unit for the pitching machine. I leaned up against the fence just watching him for a minute. He was so intently focused, I was glad he had something he could lose himself in, if only for a little while.

He finally looked up and noticed me and smiled.

"You guys heading out?"

"Yeah, Ryan got his pride hurt and I think the rest of the guys were over it awhile ago."

Adam laughed. "Of course he did… fuckin' Ryan." He shook his head and pushed off the ground to meet me. "You end up hitting anything?"

"No, I decided I didn't want to get between a good bet," I lied.

"Damn. Well, I guess I'll just have to bring you up here some other time without all the distractions," he said mischievously, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Mmmmm," I mumbled into his neck. "Some distractions are good, ya' know." I informed him lustfully.

I could've sworn I heard his breath hitch slightly. "You're trouble, T. Anyone ever told you that?"

"I might've heard it once or twice."

Adam shook his head and pulled back slightly, putting a little distance between the fantasy and reality.

"I'm not sure what time I'm getting out of here. Text you when I get home?" he asked.

"Yeah, that works," I smiled. "Don't work too hard," I told him as I stood on my tip toes to kiss him.

"Yeah, thanks," he replied sarcastically. "Don't let those guys keep you out too late," he joked warmly.

"Come on, you know I run that shit," I told him with a wink.

"Oh, I know," he agreed. "I'll text you later."

I gave him a small wave and headed toward the parking lot.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: I know it feels like these couple of chapters have just been filler, and they definitely are. I'm working to move the story along, but don't want it to move so fast it seems unrealistic. We're slowly coming up on the next big plot piece. I promise we're getting there! Also, I've had a few people not real sure about the way I'm portraying Tara. Her comment on the show that she didn't hate Charming, just her in it at the time always stuck with me. I feel like I'm writing true to that so, if you're feeling she's a bit too rebellious or "not Tara-like" just know that I think she experienced tremendous growth in the years she was away from Charming and that's where I'm basing her character from. **

**Jax POV**

We dropped Ryan and Tara off and then Frankie, Opie and I headed back to my house. Opie had been quietly staring out the window ever since we'd dropped off Tara. He seemed to be turning something over in his mind. After another long minute stretched on, I turned down the Pantera song we'd be blaring and gave him a nudge.

He looked at me and I raised my chin in a question.

"Nothing man, just thinking," he replied.

"Obviously, bro. About?" I pressed.

Opie shrugged his broad shoulders. He looked like he wanted to say something but clenched his jaw and diverted his eyes back to the window.

He seemed unusually pensive. Opie was always more of the strong, silent type but something seemed to really have a grip on him.

"You get into it with someone at the cages or something?" I asked, wondering if I'd missed something go down. I was pretty sure I would've noticed an altercation, but smashing in the cages had done wonders for me and it was possible I'd zoned out.

He picked his head up. "What? No. No, nothing like that."

I looked at him to continue but he didn't.

I raised my eyebrows and looked to Frankie who offered a shrug in return.

I was about to turn the music back up when he turned back to me.

"Was I a dick to Tara when you guys broke up?" he asked.

I wasn't sure where that had come from, but it seemed to be related to what was on his mind.

I thought about it for a minute, really considering his question before I answered. "No, bro. I mean, I don't think so. Unless something happened that I didn't know about." I paused for a second. "What's goin' on, Ope?"

Opie stared out into the windshield. "I don't know, brother. Just something Tara said. It's bugging me."

The words hung in the cab, dangling, awaiting an explanation. When none followed, Frankie actually spoke up.

"Uh, you gonna tell us what that means exactly?"

Opie cracked his knuckles, seeming to not want to answer the question.

"Dude, are you really not gonna tell us?" I asked, genuinely surprised and also slightly agitated.

Frankie reached up in his visor, took out a pack of battered Camels, kept one for himself and tossed the pack across the cab to Opie.

"Do I have to bribe you?" Frankie asked.

Opie's eyebrows cinched in annoyance but he took a cigarette and lit it anyway. "Since when do you give a shit about Tara?" Opie asked. The edge of malice in his voice surprised me and Frankie both.

"Whoa, bro. What's your deal? I mean, fuck. Tara's cool I guess. But I was really asking why you were so pissed off about whatever it is she said. But if you're gonna be a little bitch about it…." Frankie told him, clearly affronted.

"Opie," I said more sternly, seeing that this was obviously more serious than I had thought. If something was going on with Tara, I had a right to know, boyfriend or not.

Opie angrily puffed on his cigarette. "You know what she told me when I asked her about her and Adam? She said she liked him because it was nice that someone actually gave a shit about her. What is that shit?" he asked heatedly.

Neither of us really knew how to respond to that, so we let him continue his vent.

"She's with him because she thinks it's nice that someone wants to look out for her and she hasn't had anyone do that since her mom died. That when you guys split, we chose your side. Just because I wasn't hanging out with her didn't mean I chose your side."

A look of confusion crossed Frankie's face but I was starting to understand. Opie was the type of person who prided himself on protecting his own and Tara must've told him that he hadn't.

"Who got that asshole to quit dealing to her? Who broke that dude's fucking face so he would quit fucking with her?"

He paused and looked at me, this time wanting an answer.

"Come on, man. Look at it from where she's sitting. She doesn't know you did all that shit. As far as she knows, her dealer left town. And as for that other dipshit… you know how Tara is. She probably thought he just wanted an easy fuck and bailed." I shrugged. "She was pretty fucked up for a while bro, she probably doesn't even remember that dude's name."

Opie's eyes turned dark. "Well she wasn't fucked up cuz of _me_," he bit back.

It was a low blow, but I deserved it. I fucked Tara over when she was in a vulnerable spot and she spiraled out harder than she already had been. And apparently, she felt like she'd been abandoned by everyone in the process. And Opie didn't abandon people.

"Why do you care so much?" Frankie asked.

The question caused Opie to balk. "Are you seriously asking me that?"

Frankie glanced at him from the corner of his eye before turning back to the road.

"Yeah," Frankie continued cautiously. "I mean, I don't want to sound like a dick but why would anyone care if you _did_ pick Jax over her? He's your best friend. Since you were born practically. And Tara's just a girl," he concluded with a dismissive shrug.

"She's not 'just a girl'," I chimed in, hoping to quell some of the rage firing in Opie's irises.

Frankie rolled his eyes. "I know why you say that shit, bro. She's always been your bottom bitch but –"

I shoved him hard, causing him to jerk the wheel slightly before he recovered. "Don't fucking talk about her like that," I warned him.

Frankie shook me off angrily. "Don't get mad at me for calling it like I see it, bro. No wonder she fucking said whatever she said to Opie. She was down for you but you wanted more. You wanted to play with her; make her jealous; make her prove she loved you even though you sure as shit weren't proving anything to her. And you lost her. That's _your_ fault. And _now _you only want her cuz you can't have her. If Adam dropped her ass tomorrow, you'd take her out for another spin just to prove you could then she'd be back to hanging out with Kristina and it would be back to just us guys. I know why you let her hang out so much. I'm not stupid. You get the glory if you steal her from Adam and then you drop her ass as soon as you're bored." Frankie paused before looking at Opie. "But that still don't explain why _you_ got your panties in a bunch."

"You don't know shit." I told him murderously, contemplating telling him to pull over and let me walk before I punched him in his fat fucking mouth.

Opie laughed without humor. "Maybe he knows more than you think."

His comment sent every muscle in my body tense, taking every ounce of self-control to stop myself from lashing back at one or both of them. I glared at him and turned the music back up, drowning out any hope of continued conversation.

Frankie stopped in front of my house and Opie hopped out as well.

"I can walk from here," he told Frankie.

Wordlessly, Frankie threw him a deuce and drove off. Opie silently turned to head the opposite direction toward his place.

He made it a few houses before I called out to him.

"You know Frankie's wrong, right?"

Opie's hulking figure turned slowly. "Is he?"

"Come on, bro. I know I fucked up. But just because shit went sour doesn't mean I don't 'give a shit about her'. Even if we never got back together, I'd still give a shit."

I could see his shadow shrug through the darkness. "I guess we'll see, huh?"

"Yeah. Yeah, we will," I challenged.

"See you tomorrow, bro" Opie replied as he turned back to head home.

**XOXOXOX**

**Tara POV**

I lay on my bed, doodling absently on the bright white paper covering the Biology book in front of me. I'd lost interest in the chapters but kept waiting, hoping Adam would call soon. The radio station had gone through its entire play list and was now repeating the same songs again. Not that I didn't love Eve 6, but one could only hear "Inside Out" so many times before losing their mind. Adam had taught me all the words and it was fun trying to keep up with the lyrics together, but hearing it over and over was also slightly maddening.

Bored, I stretched, got up and padded down to the kitchen for a glass of water. Beer cans were scattered around my dad's feet as he sat slumped over in his recliner, completely passed out. It crossed my mind to try to get him to bed, but I thought better of it. It was usually best not to poke the bear. As the anniversary of my mom's death loomed on the horizon, there was no telling which version of him would make an appearance and I had never been much for gambling.

I grabbed some water and headed back to my room, closing and locking the door behind me. I went to the back corner of my closet, pulled back the loosened carpet edge and grabbed for the half empty pill bottle I'd hidden between my floor boards, anxiously popping a few before returning them to their hiding place. Some kids hid drugs from their parents so they didn't get in trouble. While finding narcos would've surely given my dad another excuse to rampage, I mostly hid them so he wouldn't steal them from me for his personal use. It was bad enough taking care of him when he was sloppy drunk but I didn't want to find him dead from some self-induced drug and booze cocktail.

I closed my eyes and let the pills lull me for a while. I wasn't sure how much time had passed when my text alert went off. I grabbed it and saw Adam's name light up.

"_Sorry so late. Ma's not doing so hot. I'm gonna try to get her to bed. I'll pick you up in the morning."_

I sighed, half disappointed that I wouldn't talk with him and half sad that his mother's binges seemed to be getting worse and worse.

"_No worries. See you in the morning. XOXO_" I replied.

I felt pretty bad for him. I guess I understood how he felt, but I was use to the verbal abuses my father conjured up at me after a long night (or day) of drinking. Adam wasn't. I'd almost become numb to it. Sure, every now and then he'd come up with some particularly cutting remark, but as a whole, I'd found myself desensitized to my father's abuses over the years. It was almost like dealing with a petulant whiny child, just with a deeper voice and a penchant for aggression.

As for Adam, well it seemed his time away at military school had made him forget, had even given him a little hope; hope that she wasn't as bad as he remembered; hope that maybe, just maybe, time had healed her wounds. Unfortunately, whatever fairytale he'd hoped for was exactly that… a fairytale. She'd found out that he'd been hanging around TM sometimes and became particularly enraged when Gemma offered for the umpteenth time over the years to help her out financially. Mrs. Woodley had spit all types of vitriol at Adam for that, accusing him of bad mouthing her to the Queen – a queen she blamed for her husband's death and her own subsequent downfall.

It amazed me how Mrs. Woodley had seemed to have forgotten the part she had played in things. Sure, drinking had been her coping mechanism, and she could be blamed for that for sure. But years ago she had been one of SAMCRO's staunchest supporters. She and Gemma and Mary had been thick as thieves when we were young. She never batted an eye at Mr. Woodley's criminal activity back then. Maybe if she had fought; for him to get out; for them to raise their son away from the club, maybe then her husband would still be alive and she'd have the happy family she envisioned in her mind. But she hadn't. She'd embraced the club with every inch of her being and she and her family had sadly paid a high price. They had known what the life could bring and they had decided that the comradery and family SAMCRO gave them was worth the risk. It was hard for me to imagine doing a complete 180* like that, death or not. SAMCRO was her family too. The club wasn't to blame for the decisions the two of them made. She and her husband were. Maybe that's really why she drank.

I glanced at the clock which now read 1:23am. Even with the pills, it didn't feel like there was any hope of sleep in sight. I grabbed a pack of smokes and a 1/5 of vodka I'd stolen from my dad's stash months ago and heaved the window open. The porch awning was right below my window so I crawled out to my usual spot, lay back with my drink and my smoke and watched the stars until I eventually faded to black.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: My first attempt at a little smut to make the filler worthwhile! Hope you enjoy. **

**Tara POV**

The next morning I heard a light knock at the front door as I finished brushing my teeth. I opened it and saw Adam leaning against the door frame, his overgrown hair falling in his light brown eyes. It had been in a super short military cut when he first came back to Charming but now it had grown into that untamable in-between phase. I couldn't help by stare.

"Good morning," he said with a smile, quite possibly his sexiest feature.

"Good morning yourself. Did you eat?" I asked.

Adam cleared his throat a little awkwardly. "Ma hasn't really been grocery shopping lately."

"Oh, well. Shit. I've got some cereal. There's probably some bagels around here too."

"You don't have to do that, T. I'm good."

"Are you sure? Cuz it's really not a big deal. They're just bagels" I told him with a small smile. I know he didn't want to take charity from anyone, but I was pretty sure a bowl of cereal and pastries didn't really count.

"It's cool. I'll just grab something out of the vending machine," he said as he followed me into the living room.

"I'm almost ready," I told him. "Just need to get my shit together."

"No rush. It's still early. I was just trying to get out of the house and since I didn't get to talk to you last night…." He didn't finish, but he didn't need to. He sat down on the couch. "Do what you gotta do. I'll be here."

I looked at him for a moment and he just stared back.

"What?" he asked, an uncertain smile playing across his lips.

Without a thought, I walked over to him and straddled his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"You're pretty cute, you know. Has anyone ever told you that?" I asked him.

His hands moved to rest lightly on my hips.

"I might've heard it once or twice, but not from anyone as good looking as you," he answered playfully.

I gently rocked my hips into him, bringing my body closer to his.

"Flattery, huh? I like it," I smiled as I brought my lips to his.

His grip on my waist tightened and I pressed closer to him, leaving no space between us. His lips pressed harder against mine, a hunger to them. I reached my fingers up, running them against the gentle stubble of his grown out hair. I could feel my breath getting heavier as a slow burn crept through my body. I broke contact with his mouth and moved to his neck, first kissing then gently biting. I felt him grow against me and, in an instant; he gripped my ass and flipped me on to my back on the couch, careful to keep his full weight off of me.

I kissed him deep as his hand came up to cup my breast, firm and rough. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he pressed himself harder against me. I bucked to meet him, grabbing at the edge of his t-shirt to remove it.

He pulled his face back just enough to look me in the eye. "Are you sure we have time?" he asked.

I tightened my grip around his waist. "I don't care. I want you. Now." We'd fooled around in his car a few times, but we hadn't really had a chance to be alone. And I wanted him to show me just how much he wanted me.

With no other words he pulled his shirt over his head and then focused on removing mine. His lips trailed down my neck before he sank his teeth into my collar bone, causing me to arch into him in response. He pulled down my bra straps, caressing my shoulders gently with his thumb before reaching behind me and undoing the clasp. One hand reached roughly for one breast while his mouth found the other. I rocked my hips into him again, feeling him bulging beneath his jeans and desperately wanting to unleash him. His hands found the button on my jeans but he may as well have ripped them off. I fumbled for his belt and slowly unzipped him, pushing his boxers down just enough to release him, breathing heavy as his mouth found mine again.

Heat rushed over me as my hand found his manhood and gripped him ever so gently. A groan escaped his lips as he pulled back just enough to remove the lace panties I had on. In the brief moment of separation, I spit into my hand and found him again, gently rubbing his length stroke by stroke. He groaned again as his thumb found my soft nub, pressing gentle circles against it. His fingers pressed inside me and back out, bringing juices back to my tip to push me further toward the brink. My whole body was tense and I couldn't wait anymore. I slowly guided him against me and he paused just briefly enough to put a condom on before edging inside me. He pushed further into me and I pressed my hips to take him in. I loathed the barrier the condom created but I'd only ever been with one person without one and Adam and I just weren't there yet.

He moved against me and I met him with each stride, each thrust more forceful than the last. I was so close to the edge when he froze; spent with his own orgasm before I could finish. The ache between my legs grew, unsatisfied. He thrust a final time against me but it wasn't enough for me to join him. For a moment we laid as we were, trying to catch our breath. He lifted his head and kissed my cheek before pulling out.

A dissatisfied sigh escaped me, but as far as he knew it was one of complete ecstasy.

"Bathroom's down the hall to the left." I told him. "I'm going to clean up really quick." I stood up, gathered my clothes and headed to my room to grab a new pair of underwear. Adam wasn't bad in the sack, I just hoped that next time he'd be able to hang on long enough for me to finish. It was probably my fault anyway for cutting the foreplay short.

I got dressed and turned back toward the living room only to find Adam standing in my doorway, watching me with a smile.

"You're pretty beautiful, T, you know that?"

I smiled, slightly embarrassed at the compliment.

"You're not so bad yourself," I told him, deflecting.

He grabbed my hand and laced his fingers through mine, glancing at the clock.

"You ready to head out?" he asked.

I took a look around my room, scooped up Jax' Biology book from the floor and shoved it into my bag.

"I think so," I replied with a smile. He opened the front door and I paused. "Hang on, I'll be right there," I told him as I dashed to the kitchen and retrieved a bagel for him. He shook his head but didn't argue. He devoured it before we even got to the car.

**XOXOXOX**

We drove toward the school and seemed to hit every damn light in town. Not that that was saying much, but it still made us arrive late. I heard the first bell ring as we pulled into the parking lot but I wasn't too concerned. The adrenaline from earlier hadn't quite worn off and I wasn't ready to rush away from him just yet.

We walked the halls to my locker and the tardy bell rang but we both still kept our pace. I'd made an extra effort to be on my best behavior with my teachers so far this year; I figured one tardy wouldn't hurt. We rounded the corner through the now empty hallway and I noticed someone leaning against my locker.

_Jax. _

Adam looked down at me and I raised my eyebrows back at him in surprise as we made our way toward Jax.

"Hey, sorry. I didn't really think you'd need your book already," I told him, certain there was no other real explanation for him standing here.

Confusion crossed Jax's face before he realized what I'd said.

"What? No. I don't care about the book," he laughed inconsequentially. "You can keep that shit for all I care."

Adam looked at me quizzically. I guess I hadn't mentioned Jax had agreed to let me borrow his book.

"Later," I told him, feeling it wasn't worth the energy right now.

I looked to Jax, then to Adam, them back to Jax. "Sooooo, what's up?" I asked a little concerned.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Jax asked.

Again, I looked back at Adam, then back to Jax.

"Um, yeah sure. I have a few minutes before Mrs. Timberland will throw a fit. What's up?"

Jax' steel hard eyes darted from mine to Adam's.

"Think I could talk to your girl alone for a minute?" he phrased it as a question but his pointed tone made it clear it really wasn't.

A strange look passed over Adam's face as he looked between me and Jax. I squeezed his hand in reassurance, though I wasn't quite sure what I was reassuring him about.

"Yeah, sure man," Adam said slowly. "I gotta get over to the other building anyway. I'll catch you at lunch," he said to me before leaning down to give me a small peck which, for the first time since we'd started dating, felt more like marking his territory than a show of affection. He squeezed my hand one last time before he walked away.

Jax was still leaning against the lockers, his blue eyes boring into me. To this day it was still a struggle fighting the pull they seemed to have on me. There was an unyielding magnetism about him that, had we not been through so much already, I'd have been a slave to. Fortunately or unfortunately, the pain had seared deeply enough that the scarring helped me keep my wits about me now.

"What did you say to Opie?" he asked a strange note of tension in his voice.

I paused, trying to make sure I'd heard him right.

"Um, what did he tell you?" I asked hesitantly. Not really sure where this conversation was going.

He didn't say anything but the way his eyes drilled into mine, I knew Opie must've told him everything I said; s_urprise, surprise._

The intensity with which he was staring at me made me nervous and I instinctively broke his gaze, quickly shoving my bag into my locker before slamming it shut with more force than I'd intended.

He didn't so much as shift his weight from the lockers.

"Jax, come on. What do you want to know? I need to get to class" I informed him as I checked the clock in the hallway, noting that the window of Mrs. Timberland's grace period was growing smaller and smaller.

"Class." he rolled his eyes sardonically.

"Well, if you want to talk, at least walk with me."

He pushed off the lockers in assent and we walked wordlessly down the hall.

"So," he paused. "What did you say to Opie?" he asked again.

I sighed. "Something tells me you already know what I said to him, Jax. Otherwise you wouldn't have been waiting for me the second I got to campus." I paused. "You know, you could've just called and asked me if it was so important it couldn't wait."

That seemed to throw him for a second.

"I, uh…. I guess I could've called" he conceded. "I just haven't called in…. well... I just didn't think about it I guess."

I pressed my lips together and nodded my head, still not really sure where this conversation was going.

He reached out and lightly grabbed my elbow, effectively stopping me in my tracks.

"Can we just talk? Like really talk for a minute?" There was a pleading intonation to his voice that I hadn't really heard before.

I tried. I tried my damndest not to let his baby blues suck me in. But the vulnerability that pooled in them was so genuine, so out of character for him that I could literally feel my heart expanding in my chest in response.

Feeling my apathetic exterior crumble, I relented. I knew I shouldn't let him affect me so, but the momentary glimpse behind the veil had me reflexively dropping any and all pretenses. My mind knew that things weren't the same, but the compulsion to have a real conversation with him again was something I couldn't compartmentalize and tuck away.

I sighed, knowing my stupid heart was winning a battle it shouldn't be.

He started walking toward the breeze way but I stopped him. Everywhere seemed too public for whatever walls were about to be let down. If a teacher saw us, we'd definitely get detention. If a student saw us, there was no telling what kind of crazy rumors that would start and I didn't want Adam getting the wrong idea.

"Let's go to the park" I suggested. Schertz Park was directly across from the school but had enough trees that no one would really see us unless they were looking. It seemed safe enough. Teachers wouldn't come searching for us and, on the off chance Adam did catch wind that I had skipped class to talk with Jax, at least the park seemed unassuming enough.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Another filler chapter but we're getting there! I have half of Chapter 15 written so we're moving along. I hope you guys like the 2 other chapters I uploaded… the stats made it seem like a lot of people missed Chapter 12, so if you missed it – make sure you read and give me some feedback!**

**Jax POV**

My head snapped up in surprise. She was _really_ going to skip class and hang out with me. I immediately felt the sucker punch of guilt in my stomach. Tara… always putting everyone else first. Did she even want to talk with me or did she just feel obligated? She sure as hell didn't have any obligation to me. I wondered how, after all this time, she could still be so empathetic toward me.

We made our way to the edge of campus and made sure that Officer Garcia was nowhere in sight. She crossed the street first and I followed a few minutes later. I watched her as she made her way to a rundown swing set and sat down. I took the swing next to her and we were both quiet for a minute.

"Look," I started, trying to sort out my thoughts. "I only _kind of_ know what you said to Ope. He wasn't really in the mood to talk about it. He probably wouldn't even have said anything, but whatever you said made him pretty pissed at me."

Her eyebrows gathered in confusion before she gave a short laugh. It was a joyless laugh. Not the kind I had missed hearing so much.

"I guess I could see that."

She kicked her legs forward slowly to give her some momentum. She was probably glad for a valid excuse to fidget.

"Sorry for that," she added.

I scoffed. "Sorry for what? Whatever you guys said was probably true. Probably something about how much of a dick I am."

Another short laugh escaped her. "You a mind reader now, Teller?" she asked.

"Tara," I said a little more harshly than I'd meant to. "I'm trying to be serious here." She quickly brought her swing to a standstill.

"I'm sorry, Jax. You're right. I said we could talk. Let's talk."

I ran both my hands through my hair in frustration. "Would you quit apologizing already? I already feel shitty enough."

Her mouth popped open to speak, no doubt to apologize once again, but she stopped herself and gave me a nod.

I pressed my palms together and stared at my calloused fingers for a minute. I looked over to her, her delicate fingers anxiously clasping the steel chains of the swing; such a contrast - the heavy, cold chains wrapped against her soft, warm hands. I was staring at a metaphor. My throat tightened; just looking at her hurt.

"Opie told me what you said about him not being there for you. And I just want you to know that that's not really true."

She opened her mouth to disagree but thought better of it, opting to rest her cheek against the chain and look at me instead.

"Look, Tara. Opie's my best friend. I don't want you to be mad at him. He really does care about you and I think it got under his skin that you feel like he wasn't there for you." I paused knowing that I probably didn't sound very convincing. I decided to take another approach.

"You remember how that asshole Brian just fell off the face of the earth?" I asked.

She nodded slowly, not really following.

"He didn't just leave on his own accord, Tara. Opie found out he was the one giving you X. He heard you'd started snorting it," I shivered at the thought. I wasn't a saint, but I drew the line at putting shit in my nose or in my arm.

Her cheeks flushed pink, embarrassed. "I didn't know you guys knew about any of that," she said, barely a whisper.

I raised my eyebrows at her. How could she not know? Did she really, really believe that we had just stopped paying attention to her just because she and I had broken up?

"Yeah, Tara. We knew about it. We knew about everything; I mean _everything_," I emphasized. "Just because I was being an idiot didn't mean we didn't give a shit about you. Some of the shit you were getting into, the people you were hanging out with…." I shook my head at the memory. A self-conscious, anxiety ridden beauty with no one to guide her - her unbridled curiosity and existential need for escapism had led her down a truly darkened path. Honestly, she's lucky she hadn't ended up dead in a ditch somewhere.

Her eyes flickered to mine and I could see the anguish in them. She quickly dropped hers to the ground.

"Anyway. The stories we were hearing kept getting worse and worse. I was mad, stubborn; you were fucked up, fucking around." I shrugged. "Opie decided to take matters into his own hands."

She looked back up at me, the pain there so raw that I had to look away. "What does that mean exactly?" she asked.

I gave her a tightlipped smile. "He _might've_ brought it to the club."

Her eyes widened. "Opie ratted?" she asked in disbelief.

I looked at her like she was crazy. "Opie didn't rat! It's the club, not the cops, Tara. Jesus!"

"What happened to him?" she asked a slight tremor in her voice.

"He's fine, Tara. They didn't do anything to him. Just roughed him up a bit and told him to deal his drugs somewhere else. He took the hint, moved up the road to SF… all those hipster trust fund babies are probably making him a millionaire now."

"Are you sure?" she queried again.

"Well, millionaire might be exaggerating a little."

"That's not what I meant, jack ass" she replied, though I could see the sign of a slight smile starting to surface.

"I'm sure, Tara. He's fine. He didn't have to be told twice." I reassured her. I definitely wasn't going to tell her what had happened to the other guy, Julio or Juan or whatever his fucking name was.

"Regardless," I continued, "What really matters is that Opie didn't bail on you. If anyone bailed, it was me. You can think whatever you want, be pissed about whatever you want, but Opie didn't have anything to do with it. And I think he took it pretty personal…. Whatever you said to him anyway."

She played with her hands, avoiding me. After a minute she looked up.

"You wouldn't happen to have a cigarette on you, would you?" she asked, changing the subject.

"I do." I answered.

She looked at me expectantly. "Can I have one?"

"On one condition," I told her.

She eyed me skeptically. "And what's that?"

"Give Opie a break. You can trust him, Tara. I mean it. I get it if you don't trust me. I don't really deserve it anyway. But Opie? He _does_. He's always looked out for you, even when you were too blind to see it."

She nodded. "I'll talk to him" she agreed fervently.

I tossed her a cigarette and lighter.

I lit a cigarette for myself as well, more out of habit than necessity.

"So, you're really into Adam huh?" I asked her, trying to seem much less interested than I really was.

A strangled laughed burst from her lips as she turned to look at me, a wicked smile on her face.

"Are we gonna talk about boys, Jax?" she asked incredulously as she got up from her swing and walked toward the dilapidated merry go round. I got up and followed.

She laid down on the flat surface, long, silky hair splayed out around her, staring serenely at the clouds above. God, she was beautiful.

"I was just making conversation. You don't have to run off," I told her as I leaned against one of the rails.

"Talk, talk, talk. I don't remember you and Opie being such gossips before."

"It's not gossip, Tara. We're not running off telling people your business. Just trying to see where you're at these days."

"Never had so many people interested in my business before," she replied, but I heard the smile in her voice.

"I find that hard to believe." I said, peering down at her.

"Do we really need to talk about my love life?"

"Ah," I replied sarcastically, "it's a _real_ love connection then."

She rolled her eyes and swatted at my shin.

"I wouldn't call it love," she offered. "But we have fun."

"Well, I guess that's all that matters then."

She propped herself up on her elbows and looked at me.

"Yeah, I guess it is."

"So you're happy?" I added, barely able say the words.

We were quiet again, engaged in some angst-ridden staring contest. "Yeah, Jax," she said so quietly it made her seem small. "I am."

I couldn't hold her gaze any longer, so I gave the merry go round a small push. She lost her balance a little and a sweet laugh escaped her. I couldn't help but smile.

"You like that?" I asked her, giving the structure a harder push.

A childish squeal pierced the air and I pushed again, harder. She was gripping one of the bars, giggling uncontrollably as I picked up my pace, running with the merry go round to propel it faster.

"Jax!" she screamed. "You're gonna make me throw up!" she laughed. She was holding on for dear life when I finally let go.

When it finally came to a stop, she tried to sit up but failed dizzily. When she finally regained composure, she sat up and leaned against the rail for support.

"We should get back. Class is almost over by now," she informed me, short of breath.

"You sure you can walk there, Rocky?" I laughed, her nickname suddenly taking on a new meaning.

She laughed again. "I think I got it," she replied, taking my extended hand to help her up.

"You head in first. I'll let you be the bait."

I wiggled my eyebrows at her. "Prettiest bait Officer Garcia's ever seen."

"Here's hoping he won't actually see you," she smirked.

"Alright. I'll see you after Bio. Don't forget our condition."

"I know, I know. I'll talk to him." She promised.

I nodded my head in reply and turned to head back to the school.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: I know this chapter is ridiculously long. I was going on 19 pages and realized I HAD to break it up. I have Chapter 16 finished but want to get part of 17 written before I post. Enjoy!**

**Tara POV**

It had been a few weeks since my odd conversation with Jax but things seemed better. I had talked with Opie and assured him we were good. I don't know that either one of us 100% believed the one another, but we' settled back into our normal rhythm and things were comfortable again.

Things with Adam had been going great. He'd been working a lot to help cover some bills at home, but he still made time to squeeze in a late night phone call or, on occasion, to sneak out to lay with me on the roof below my window. He hadn't been really thrilled about Jax cornering me about Opie (as he had called it) but after some coaxing, he had finally let it go.

Kris met me as I walked out of my 4th period to head to lunch.

"You ready for tonight?" she asked.

"I guess," I replied. I still didn't really see what the big deal was.

"Come on, Tara! It's Halloween! The one night a year we get to be whoever we want. Oh, don't roll your eyes at me," she chided.

"I guess I just don't get it. Are we not who we want to be every day, already?"

She rolled her eyes.

"It's not like a slut needs an excuse to dress slutty," I continued. "And it's not like a delinquent need an excuse to get into mischief."

"It's not about dressing slutty! It's about playing dress up. You use to love that shit when we were kids."

She had a point, but I still wasn't all that excited about it. Part of me knew the reason I'd loved it so much was because it was something I'd done with my mom. Trying on oversized hats and swimming in layers of costume pearls, it had kind of been our thing. Kris and I had continued the game after my mom died, but I think, as a kid, it had made me feel closer to my mom in her absence. Now that I was grown, it just amplified the loss.

Kris must've sensed where my head was at because she snapped her fingers in front of my face, breaking my trance.

"It'll be fun, Tara," she reassured me. "What are you gonna be?"

I shrugged. "Whatever I can put together from my closet. I think I have a cheap tiara lying around somewhere. Maybe I can make some wings."

"Ooooo!" Kris squealed. "I have a dress that would look amazeballs on you. You should be a princess!"

I looked at her skeptically. "I don't know that I'm really the princess type."

Kris' eyebrows cinched in aggravation. "Well, you can be Queen Bitch then. Whatever. Either way, I bet the dress will fit like a glove. I brought a whole bunch of stuff with me in case you decided to be difficult."

"Are you just coming home with me after school then?" I asked.

"Yep. Already told the kids they'd have to fend for themselves tonight. Hopefully they don't burn the house down or anything," she replied, only half joking.

"Did you make them outfits?"

"You know I did!" she replied proudly. "Mikey's gonna be a Ninja Turtle because, well obviously. Brittany's a witch, Ryan's gonna be Jim Carrey from The Mask and Joey's going to be Ace Ventura. I know they both _HAD_ to be Jim Carrey characters" she added, rolling her eyes. "Sean's going to be the worst Power Ranger you've ever seen… seriously, do you know how hard it is to make a Power Ranger costume when a kid won't wear tights?" she asked rhetorically. "And Drew's going to be Aladdin."

"Awww, that's gonna be adorable. I kinda wish they were coming with us now!" I told her.

"Trust me, the last thing you want to do is chase those little monsters around all night."

"Seriously, you'd need to put some kind of tracking device on them. And even then I'm not sure that would work," I replied, shaking my head. Those kids sure were a handful. The lack of parental attention they received caused them to act truly bonkers to garner any sort of attention, good or bad. Kristina's word was the law with them and I had rarely seen them try to disobey her, but still. Looking after that many kids was definitely a full time job.

We stopped at the vending machines so Kris could grab some M&Ms while I opted for a bottle of water before making our way out to our usual spot in the picnic area. Surprisingly, we were the last to arrive.

Ryan spotted us first. "Are you ladies coming out with us to celebrate the dead?" he asked in what I guessed was supposed to be a spooky voice, given the zombie like arm movements he was making.

"Um, sure. If that's what you want to call it," I told him.

"You guys are dressing up, right?" Kris asked.

The guys all shared a look.

"We weren't really planning on it," said Adam.

Kris stuck her tongue out at them. "Well, you guys are no fun."

"I think I have a Jason mask somewhere," Ryan offered. "It might be fun to scare some little kids with."

"There will be _NO_ scaring of little kids," I warned them. "That's mean!"

"Aw, Rocky. You're no fun," Ryan answered.

"Hey, she said no scaring the _little_ kids… there are plenty of big kids we can still traumatize." Adam reassured him with a laugh.

"Are you gonna make it out?" Ryan asked him.

"Yeah, man. I wouldn't miss it. I work til 8 but it'll barely be dark then anyway. I might get out earlier since it'll probably be dead."

"So where are we meeting and when?" I asked, my inexplicable need to control every detail of life taking over.

They all looked at each other like it was the first time they'd even thought about it. Truth be told, it probably was.

"My house, whenever?" Jax suggested.

"Your house or TM?" I verified.

"My house," he confirmed. "TM will be insane tonight. Wouldn't want to offend you ladies' sensibilities," he added with a terrible southern drawl.

"TM doesn't _offend_ my sensibilities," Kris rebuffed him.

"Oh really? Cuz the last time you were there I saw Tig talking to you and I thought you were gonna have a conniption," he told her.

She opened her mouth to disagree but closed it with a shrug. "Tig's a freak!" she rationalized.

"No one's gonna argue with that" Frankie piped up.

"So should I just meet you guys at your house or will you guys already be out?" Adam asked Jax. Their relationship could only be described as tenuous. There was an aloof respect wrapped in guarded mistrust… I couldn't help but feel like I was the rope in some twisted game of tug of war that I had not consented to play. For two guys whose confidence could be considered borderline cocky, it sure took a lot of energy on my part to make them both feel comfortable with their place in life.

"I don't know, man. If we aren't there, we'll still be in the neighborhood. Just call your girl. We'll be within walking distance wherever we are," Jax told him.

"We're gonna be walking?" Kris asked, not too thrilled to hear this.

"It's a tradition," Opie informed her. "Can't scare anyone if you're riding around in a cage. Haven't you ever been trick-or-treating before?"

"Aren't we a little old for trick-or-treating?" I asked.

"Not_ us_, Rocky. Dammit. It's just tradition. For once, just don't argue!" Ryan instructed us. "I know it's hard," he added with a laugh.

"Alright, alright" I agreed with a laugh of my own. He knew me too well.

"Are you guys dressing up?" Adam asked, bringing us back to our original conversation. By the look on his face I could tell all sorts of skanky Halloween images were dancing in his head.

"Yeeeeeessssss." I laughed when his eyes opened even wider. "But don't get too excited, we're not French maids or bunnies or anything."

There was a collective groan of disappointment around the table and Kris threw some of her M&Ms at them.

"You guys are pigs."

Not one of them tried to deny it.

**XOXOXOX**

"I can't believe you got me to wear this," I grumbled as we walked the shortcut from my neighborhood to Jax'. I think Kris and I were practically the only ones who didn't live in Woodland Oaks or its neighboring Ashley Place.

Kris laughed. "You look gorge, I don't know what you're complaining about."

She had somehow gotten me into a silky, floor length, gun metal grey dress that did, as Kris had promised, fit me like a glove. She'd been sour when I'd opted for Converse instead of heels, but I had no idea what kind of shenanigans the guys might be getting into tonight. If past years were any indication, it would be hard enough hopping fences in a dress; I didn't want to risk breaking an ankle too.

"So is it going to be weird?" Kris asked.

I looked at her confused.

"You know, Jax and Adam?"

"No way. It's not weird," I assured her. "Jax and I are good. I think he finally got over the fact that I don't_ belong_ to him anymore. We're cool."

"And him and Adam?" she pressed, knowing that anyone with two brain cells picked up on the tension there.

I shrugged. "There's no stopping that bleeding. But I think they've found neutral ground… if for no other reason than they just don't really want to piss me off."

Kris shook her head. "Wonder how long that'll last."

I waved her off as we approached Jax's house.

It was a small, beige brick one story on one of the busiest streets in the neighborhood, Poplar Grove. They might as well have named it "Popular Grove" since a veritable who's who of Charming High lived on the street. I'm not talking well to do types with money. I mean the kids that everyone wanted to hang out with, the kids who were the life of every party; who were friendly and popular without having to buy their friends in town.

Opie lived a few streets over on Kline and Ryan on the very first street, Hollow Oak. Adam lived just a street over from Jax which had been convenient when they were kids, but now just compounded the awkwardness.

The short driveway led to a small, covered entryway filled with all kinds of potted plants Gemma tinkered with regularly. I knocked lightly on the door with Kris close behind me.

To my surprise, Gemma opened the door.

"Tara!" she greeted me warmly as she wrapped her arms around me in a hug. The distinct smell of the Teller house wafted out to me. I could never quite explain the fragrance, more a state of being than a smell. Whatever it was, it always made me feel like I was somewhere I knew, somewhere I belonged.

"Hi Mrs. Teller," I replied with a smile. "You remember my friend, Kristina."

Gemma smiled at Kris. "Of course I do. You two have been joined at the hip since you could walk."

She turned, inviting us further into the house. I'd spent so much time there over the years I could've walked the layout with my eyes closed. Fish tank to the right, between the living room wall and the kitchen; the dining room and back door adjacent to the living room, Mr. and Mrs. Teller's room to the left of that at the back of the house. If you hung a left at the front door, you would come to a fork in the hallway; first Tommy's old bedroom on the left, then Jax', then a bathroom on the right. It was a simple house and Gemma had filled every inch of it while finding a way to make it feel cozy and inviting, not cluttered.

"I love your outfits, girls," she complimented us.

Kris had gone with a Pink Ladies look while I had opted for a Queen.

"You know what you need, Tara?" Mrs. Teller asked.

I raised my eyebrows. "Hmm?" I asked.

"Makeup!" she replied with a firm excitement that made my eye twitch with dread.

"I told her!" Kris complained. "But you know, Tara. She wasn't having any of that."

"Come her, baby. I've got the perfect eye shadow for you."

I held in the sigh that threatened to escape. Gemma didn't care about my disdain for heavy makeup. I knew after she'd had her way, I'd be easily mistaken for some sweet butt at the club house.

"Come on, then." She urged leading the way to her bedroom.

Fortunately Jax and Opie popped their heads out of his bedroom.

"I thought I heard something," Jax said. "What are you guys doing?" he asked as I shot him a look, pleading to save me.

He looked from me, to his mom and then back and forth again.

Gemma moved to gently cup his face in her hand. "I'm just going to doll Tara up a bit. It won't take long."

A loud laugh sprung from Opie's chest and Jax tried unsuccessfully to hold in his smirk. He looked directly at me, blue eyes twinkling.

"We'll be in here when you're done." He laughed, shutting his door behind him, denying me of any chance of rescue.

I gloomily followed Kris and Gemma to her makeup table and made myself comfortable. I had a feeling I was going to be there awhile.

**XOXOXOX**

Nearly an hour later, there was a knock on Gemma's bathroom door followed by Jax' curious voice.

"You ladies okay in here?" he asked.

About that time, Gemma spun the chair I was sitting in so I was facing her and the bathroom door.

"All done, baby" she told me. "You can come in!" she hollered at Jax.

Jax stepped into the studio sized bathroom and let out a low whistle when he saw me.

"That bad?" I asked, not sure what to think about the heavy eyeliner and evening eyeshadow (as Kris had called it) that had been painted on my face.

It took a second for him to recover. "No, not bad at all! Nice job, mom." He smiled, leaning over to give Gemma a kiss on the cheek.

I snorted a little. "You're a terrible liar," I told him.

He shook his head, stood behind me, pushed the chair back to face the mirror and leaned against the seatback.

"You look great," he whispered. "Don't be so self-conscious."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

He tugged at a strand of my hair. "This could use some work though," he added sarcastically.

A sense of panic rose in me when Gemma's eyes gleefully lit up and I bolted from the chair before she could get me in her grasp again.

"Thank you, Mrs. Teller. I really appreciate it. It's perfect for tonight," I lied sweetly. Truth be told, it didn't really look that bad, I just felt so _different_; so not like myself.

"Are you sure, honey? I can do a quick updo or something for you."

"No. Thank you." I said quickly. "You've already done too much. It looks great." I paused. "Really. Thank you," I added sincerely.

She gave me a quick embrace and gave Kris' cheek a quick pinch.

"You girls keep these boys out of trouble for me tonight, will you? They need someone to keep them in line."

Jax groaned. "We're big boys, mom. We'll be fine. No trouble. Cross my heart" he swore as he traced an X over his heart and shot her his trademark grin. Gemma couldn't see his fingers crossed tightly behind his back.

We followed him back to his bedroom and were greeted with a cloud of smoke and strobe lights.

"What the fuck? Are you guys throwing a rave in here or something?" I asked, waving uselessly at the smoke.

"Wrong music; no molly," Kris commented.

"Okay, well then what kind of weird shit is going on in here? It's a little weird right?" I asked turning to Kris. "Three guys smogging up a room in the dark with nothing but strobe lights?"

"Hey now, we've got metal," Ryan offered in rebuttal.

I rolled my eyes. "You guys at least have another joint for us?"

The words were barely out of my mouth before Jax was waving three fat jays in my face. I went to grab one and he yanked his hand back.

"I didn't hear a please," he taunted, looking at Ryan and Opie. "Did you guys hear a please?"

I gave him a light shove which caused him to stumble into the wall, bumping the stereo system on the shelf.

He joking let out an offended huff. "Shit, a 'please' _and_ an' I'm sorry'."

I pressed my lips together in restraint. "Please," I paused. "And I'm sorry."

He handed me one of the joints.

"Don't you think we should do this outside?" I asked. Jax's parents were cool but I still didn't think they'd be all that cool with us stinking up the house .My dad may be a total drunk but his sense of smell hadn't dulled like the rest of his senses. I never smoked in the house for fear of the consequences.

"Shit, it just smells like cigarettes to them anyway," said Opie.

"Yeah, right!" Kris answered. "They smoke. They know the difference. Are you sure they don't care?"

"Calm down. Even if they did care, they'd never say anything with you here. The two of you have my mom eating out of the palm of your hand."

"If you say so. But we should still go outside. It's too early for all this strobe light nonsense," I reasoned. Something about the lighting sparked my illicit craving and I needed to get out of that room.

Jax looked at Opie and Ryan and shrugged. "Ladies choice," he said as he opened the door and motioned for us to go first.

We sat on plastic chairs on the back porch and I lit the joint, turning it side to side for an even burn. I took a deep drag, spinning it in my fingers to light the cherry evenly before passing it to Jax. He waved me off and pointed to Kris, gesturing to start the circle the other way.

"Ladies first." When I looked at him strangely he added, "You know, chivalry and shit."

Wordlessly, I passed it to Kris and sat quietly, admiring the flowers and ivy lacing their way through the lattice that protected the porch from the view of nosey neighbors.

"Don't you have to take piss tests for probation?" Ryan asked in between puffs, breaking my observation.

"Yeah but they just do it randomly. I've only had like two in the last six months," I told him.

"Still," he pressed. "They're random right? So how do you know when the next one's going to be? Aren't you worried about it? You smoke like a fucking chimney."

I didn't answer and he stared, awaiting a response.

"She doesn't want to tell you," Kris broke in.

"What? Why?" Ryan asked confused.

"Sounds like a story to me, Rocky. No way you're getting off the hook now," Opie informed me.

I looked to Jax who had been about to hand the joint back to me but was now holding it hostage, my answer as ransom.

I sighed.

"She's embarrassed guys. Leave her alone," Kris defended, though in actuality she had only made it worse.

"Ooooooooooo! Tara's embarrassed!" Ryan teased.

I glared at Kris. "Thanks a lot."

I looked around the circle and realized I wasn't getting out of it so I finally broke. I grabbed for the joint and Jax pulled it back so I turned my glare at him. He handed it to me.

I took a few puffs and with smoke still in my lungs, I told them. "I have a plastic… you know… and I use synthetic urine from the smoke shop."

Their eyes grew to the size of watermelons.

"A plastic what?!"? Ryan asked incredulously. "You have a plastic pussy?"

I rolled my eyes and hit the joint again, confirming his question with a shrug.

Opie let out a surprised "What?" and Jax and Ryan laughed.

"A friend… a person I use to hang out with," I corrected. "He told me about it so I asked the guy at Planet K and he said they had one for girls too."

"Can I see it? How does it work?" Of course Ryan wanted more details.

"No, you can't see it, asshole!" I told him sharply. "There's a Velcro belt you wear under your clothes and there's these tubes and you have this plastic pouch of fake urine and you put these warmer things in in…. you know, like the hand warmers they sell at the camping store… and that gets it up to the temperature so no one thinks anything is weird and… as long as they're not standing like right there when you go, which they don't because I'm a minor…. It works." If they wanted more explanation than that they weren't getting it.

"Wow," Jax breathed. "Wouldn't it be easier just to quit smoking?"

We all laughed.


	16. Chapter 16

**Tara POV**

The moon was already making its' ascent when we finally ventured out in a haze of Boones Farm, Bacardi, hydros and weed. Kris and I leaned clumsily against each other as we walked and I was thankful I'd opted for Converse over heels.

The stares our small group garnered told me that we were probably ridiculously loud, but in our drunken state none of us seemed to care. Instead of walking the main street to the park, we weaved through the neighborhood streets, taking a significantly longer way than necessary. No one seemed to mind. In fact, it a great decision because we stumbled across a haunted house someone had created in their garage. The absurdly fake eyeballs and the even less convincing blood was laughable, but even Frankie seemed to enjoy himself as he flung Creepy Crawler scorpions at me. Something about hanging black plastic, smoking dry ice and Monster Mash on repeat had us flying even higher than when we'd left the house.

We claimed the only gazebo in the park and camped out, watching the waves of kids passing through; first the little kids dressed like lady bugs and superheroes; then the older kids opting for the more macabre clowns and vampires.

"I love Halloween" Kris and I said simultaneously, falling into a fit of giggles. It must've been contagious because even the guys joined in with boisterous laughter.

We sat there for an hour or so, watching the kids and smoking cigarettes until the herds seemed to thin. Around that time, Adam called.

"Hey," I answered eagerly, the Crown from Jax' flask seeping into my voice.

"Hey. Where are you guys?" Adam asked.

"Down at the park. Where are you?"

"Just got home. Ma's in some kind of way. I'm trying to hurry up and get the hell out of here," he explained, a twinge of something… guilt… maybe pain… in his voice.

"Well, we're here. Come on down!" I told him in my best game show host voice.

"Tell him to walk. I'll drop him off with the rest of you," Frankie told me.

"Frankie said to leave your car. He's our personal car service tonight," I told him, shooting Frankie a smart ass smile. He threw a cigarette at my face which I instantly snagged and placed behind my ear.

"Alright, cool. It'll probably take me like fifteen to walk over there. See you soon."

"Soon," I assured him.

"Tell him to bring a flask!" Opie yelled in the background.

"Already done," Adam answered before I could say anything.

"See you soon."

**XOXOXOX**

The rest of the night was a blur. I vaguely processed running behind the guys as they chased a group of junior high kids through the drainage ditch between neighborhoods. My lungs burned as I tried to regain my balance and breath, thankful once again for the Converse on my feet. We all collapsed in the grass, laughing. The stars swirled above me as I rested my head in the crook of Adam's arm as we all laid back, staring at the full moon lighting up the sky. There were still a few people out roaming the neighborhood, but it was mostly quiet save for the sound of sirens in the far distance.

"What time is it?" asked Kris sleepily.

"2:30" Opie told her.

"Jesus," she hissed under her breath.

I reached into my clutch for my cigarettes but came up empty.

"Fuck, I'm out of cigarettes," I lamented.

"Me too," Jax commiserated.

"Me three," Ryan piled on.

Adam produced a pack and flipped the top back offering it to me.

"Last one," he added handing me a lighter.

"We can share," I told him, moving to wrap my arm around his torso.

"You guys make me want to puke, you know that?" Frankie scolded.

"I've got an idea" Ryan said, jerking to sit up straight.

Kris and I both groaned. The thought of doing anything but lay here was completely unenticing.

"We should go up to Tiger Tote," he said.

"They're closed, dumb ass," Kris told him.

"So?"

"So what?" Kris replied. "They're _closed_. And the only person they'll sell to is Adam anyway, and that's only half the time."

Ryan shook his head. "Amateur."

Jax shifted his weight so he could sit up. "You thinking smash and grab?"

"Fuck yeah I am." Ryan answered.

"Fuck yeah we are" added Opie.

"Are you guys serious?" Kris asked.

"We're all out of cigarettes; I don't know about you guys but my flask went empty an hour ago; and its 2:30 in the morning on Halloween. Hell yeah, I'm serious," Ryan replied matter-of-factly.

"Let's do this," agreed Frankie.

"I'll be look out," I offered.

"No!" both Adam and Jax snapped in disagreement.

"I thought we were supposed to be the good influences, Tara? Keep them out of trouble? Isn't that what Gemma said?" Kris asked me.

I laughed. "This _IS_ me keeping them out of trouble. They're gonna do it anyway. They've already done it a hundred times before. Doesn't matter what we say. At least this way they have a look out and won't get caught."

"We don't need a lookout," Jax reasoned. "Adam can stay here with you guys. The four of us could do this in our sleep."

Adam shared a look with Jax. "Yeah, that sounds better. I'll stay here with the girls. Just grab me a carton and a 40oz."

"Cool, we'll grab Frankie's truck; the three of us will run and Frankie will wait on the street behind the store." Leave it to Jax, he always seemed to have a plan. Or at least he thought he did.

"Okay," I agreed. "Good plan, but you still need a look out."

"No way," Adam countered. "That's what Frankie's for."

"Frankie's going to be on the street behind the store. That's not really going to do a lot of good if the cops or someone else comes from the main road."

"Non-issue," Jax argued. "We've done it before without a lookout. No problem."

"Yeah, but not on Halloween when there are people out everywhere." I argued back.

"What people?" Jax looked around sneering, a rougher edge creeping into his voice. "It's 2:30 in the god damn morning, Tara. It's fine."

I could feel Adam tense against me; he'd definitely heard the edge too. Even though they were against me, in that moment, a part of me was thankful they were on the same side at least. No telling how things would've escalated under the influence of the evening's bender.

"Fine," I bit icily. "At least have one of you stay off to the side to make sure no one comes. Take trash bags" I added harshly, knowing their next complaint would be that two people couldn't care everything.

I was beyond annoyed. They thought they were protecting me but they were just being fucking sexist. If they weren't going to get caught, what was the big deal if they had another set of eyes as support? The last time they had cut me out and ignored me they _did_ get caught. They were just lucky it had been Officer Unser working the beat and not one of Chief Hale's golden boys.

"Fine," Jax chipped just as icily. "We'll go back to my place, grab the bags. You guys can wait there."

Irrationally, I just wanted to punch him in his cocky face but didn't have the energy.

As we walked, I fished another hydro from my bag.

"Another one?" Adam asked in disbelief.

I didn't like his tone. "Yeah. Why? Do you want one?" I asked, my annoyance breaking through.

He grabbed for my hand and slowed until we were at the back of the pack.

"I didn't mean anything by it I just… I mean… how are you even walking right now?"

"I can float here forever…." I whispered absently, more to myself than to him.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. Tolerance, remember?" I told him, and squeezed his hand before dropping it.

He stopped walking for a second but caught back up. We rounded the corner and then stopped in front of Jax'. He let us in and Kris and I plopped down on the tan couch as the guys scurried around in the kitchen. They reappeared, trash bags in hand.

"We'll be back" Ryan told us in his Terminator voice.

They left and Kris, Adam and I sat quietly for a minute.

"Dude, you look so pissed," Kris observed looking at me.

I shrugged.

"They'll be fine," she offered.

I didn't say anything. 

"What are you so mad about? If they get caught, that's on them. You tried to warn them. At least you won't be there to get in trouble." I'm sure Adam thought he was being the smart, rational one, but for the second time in the span of thirty minutes, something in his tone irked me.

I laughed cynically. "It's not about me. I don't care if I get caught. I care if _they_ get caught."

"Why? It's their choice. You're not their keeper"

Again, his dismissive tone sliced its way under my skin.

"Well maybe I just give a shit about my friends," I told him.

Adam ran his hand across his beard as boiling anger broke briefly in his eyes before being replaced by a resigned flatness.

"Right. Friends," he replied.

I glowered at him, not missing the unspoken insinuation.

We sat silently before he rubbed both his hands down his face, exasperated.

"Would it make you feel better if we did a drive by to check on them?"

I instantly felt like shit. It wasn't my fault that he and Jax had this stupid turf war, but I couldn't act like it didn't exist. Adam was good to me, too good to me and, even if his unwarranted jealousy made me feel like pushing away; it was still my job to try to ease his concern.

I sighed, wishing there was a cigarette or a flask to be had. I reached over and grabbed his hand.

"We don't have to do that," I said more gently. "It's fine. You're right. They're big boys. They don't need a momma hen chasing after them."

He squeezed my fingers between his and took a deep breath.

"You're right. They don't. But you're always gonna be the momma hen chasing those idiot chickens, right? If it'll make you feel better, we'll go."

I shook my head but he stood, pulling me up.

"Come on, Kris," Adam told her. "Let's go make sure those dip shits don't go to jail."

Kris grumbled as she got off the couch.

"It's only a street over," he offered as consolation.

"Whatever," Kris replied. "I don't care if I get fucking ring worm" she said, pulling her heels off to expose her bare feet.

A few minutes later, we turned down Adam's street. The quietness relaxed me and I drank in the cool breeze that kissed my bare shoulders. I was so lost in serenity, I didn't realize Adam had stopped until or interlocked hands pulled me back.

"What's wrong?" I asked, looking up at his rigid figure.

"My car," he said, though I'm not sure he was even talking to me.

"What?" I asked again, looking toward his house.

"Where's my car?" he asked to no one in particular.

He started walking again, faster. I could barely keep pace with his long legs. We stopped in the front yard. The house was completely dark.

"Maybe she's staying the night somewhere?" I suggested, a sinking feeling settling into the pit of my stomach.

Adam didn't answer as he threw open the unlocked door and flipped on the porch and living room lights.

"Holy shit," I heard Kris whisper behind me.

The place was a wreck. In addition to the usual empty rum bottles gathered on the ground, it looked like the entire contents of the house had been dumped out. Broken porcelain littered the ground, a shattered mirror hung haphazardly from the wall. A book shelf was knocked over along with practically anything else that might've stood upright before.

"Ma!" yelled Adam loudly, stepping over the wreckage. "Ma!" he yelled again, making his way toward the hallway.

I turned to look back at Kris, her eyes as big as saucers. "Do you think she did all this?" she asked. It was a testament to how fucked up Kris' childhood had been that she immediately thought Adam's mom did this and not some burglar.

Adam called out again for his mom as we picked through the havoc after him. He walked out of her bedroom.

"She's not here," he said in disbelief, running his hands back and forth over his head like he might tear his hair out. "She's not fucking here," he repeated.

"Did you leave your keys here?" I asked.

He walked to the kitchen and checked the key holder hanging from the wall.

"She took the spare. Jesus fucking Chris," he hissed angrily. "She took the fucking spare!" he yelled, slamming his fist through the wall.

"Shit" I muttered, looking at Kris for help. She looked back at me with an 'I don't know what the fuck to do' kind of look.

Adam was walking in unsteady circles and it was starting to make me nervous.

I reached out a hand and lightly placed it on his shoulder, stopping his pacing movements.

"Let's go back to Jax'. They'll be back soon. Frankie can take us….."

"Where?" Adam flared. "Where can Frankie take us? We don't know where the fuck she is. That crazy fucking woman…. She could be anywhere."

"Does she have a favorite bar or…"

A scary laugh erupted from Adam. "Yeah, sure. You know that one place that serves the liquor… and plays music. I think there's a juke box too," he replied sarcastically.

I swallowed the lump building in my throat. "Okay…. Do you know… has she been seeing anyone? Has she mentioned a guy or anything lately?"

"Like she'd remember his name," the enmity in his voice was frightening.

I understood that he was freaking out, but seeing Adam lose his shit like this was creeping me the fuck out. It was like I could physically see his hinges coming loose.

"Okay. Okay." I said cautiously. Silence wasn't the answer but I wasn't coming up with anything productive to say.

"Okay," I said again, gripping his forearms, forcing him to stop and look at me. I grabbed his face in my hands and didn't let him break my gaze.

"We're going to figure this out," I told him, "_We_ are going to figure this out. We're going to go back to Jax's. We're going to wait for them to show up and then we're going to have Frankie take us to TM and we'll get Mr. Teller to call someone friendly at the PD."

Adam snorted. "Right, cuz they're just gonnna call the cops."

"Adam," I said sternly, leaving no room for him to have a meltdown. "We're going to get it together; we're going to figure out where she went and we're going to make sure she's okay. If they don't want to call the cops, then they'll help us look. You know they will. She probably just passed out somewhere. I know-" I said, keeping him from interrupting, "- that's not an ideal situation either but…. But we have to start somewhere, okay?"

Adam dipped his forehead so it touched mine and nodded. "Alright."

I turned back toward the front door and shared a look with Kris. _Jesus, this was going to be a long night._


	17. Chapter 17

AN: I hope you guys are enjoying. Reviews motivate me and help reassure me that you guys are still connecting with the story. I don't want to lose you! I'm working on the next chapter but could definitely use a little feedback to help push me along. Much thanks to elbeewoods for the motivation!

**Tara POV**

By the time we made our way back to Jax' house, the guys were already back. Cartons and cartons of Marlboro Reds were stacked high on the granite counter top and there were at least three or four 18 packs of Ice House on the floor. The fresh rush of adrenaline had pumped new life into them and their bursts of laughter and liveliness were too much to absorb after the somber walk that Kris, Adam and I had just endured.

"Did you see the glass shatter?" asked Ryan. "Pshhhhhh!" he imitated glass breaking, moving his hands to mimic an explosion.

"Where did you even find a brick?" Jax questioned.

They chattered nonsensically as we approached and Opie reached deep into one of the trash bags and handed me a carton.

"Marlboro Methols for you and….." he dug further into the bag and produced a carton of Marlboros Lights. "Lights for you," he said, handing the carton to Adam. Adam took them silently and started working open the box.

"I didn't forget about you, Rocky," Ryan spoke up, digging around in the trash bag. "There's some cigarillos for you in here somewhere." He finally gave up and emptied the contents on the floor. An assortment of lighters, Zig Zags, Black and Milds, and candy bars scattered across the tile.

I felt like my brain was on overload.

Finally, Jax looked at the three of us. "What's wrong?" he asked, immediately clueing in that we were not in the same celebratory mood as they.

I looked at Adam but he didn't say anything. I turned back to Jax. We had everyone's attention now.

"We were wondering if you could call your dad or if maybe Frankie could take us by the club house. Adam's mom… she's not home. The house is trashed. His car's gone…" I trailed off, not even sure what more to say.

In a twisted way, I hoped something had happened to her; that someone had barged in in the middle of the night, grabbed her in her stupor and stolen the car. But I recognized the trademark of grief scattered in the destruction of Adam's house. No, she had raged over_ something_ and the real cause for concern was that she (and Adam's car) was probably dead in a ditch by now.

The guys got quiet and looked at Adam for more information. He was staring at his shoes. Their prying eyes turned back to mine.

"I think we're just wondering if she's sleeping it off in a bar somewhere… or maybe somebody's seen her… at a… friend's house or something," I continued feebly. The truth was, I always jumped to the worse of conclusions and I didn't mean a word I'd just said. Jax and Opie knew it too. The set of Opie's mouth and the hardened, take no prisoners look in Jax' eyes told me we were on the same sad page.

Frankie spoke first. "You wanna call him?" he asked Jax.

"Naw, the old man won't answer. Even if they're still wildin' no way he held onto his phone all night. You mind running us over there?"

"Yeah, man. No problem," Frankie agreed, scooping up a carton for himself before handing Adam the 40oz he'd requested.

"Are you okay to drive?" I asked him, knowing the answer he'd give but asking anyway.

Frankie laughed at me. "Little Tara, always so worried. I'm good, we ran out of booze more than an hour ago. I got this."

With that, we headed out the door.

**XOXOXOX**

By the time we got to TM, it was nearly 4am. There were still signs of life on the lot, though I quickly averted my eyes when I realized what the scantily clad croweater and burly, bear of a biker were doing against the boxing ring.

We walked through the club house door and the smell of alcohol alone stung my eyes. Mixed with the stench of vomit and sex, I wondered how all these people could sleep like this. A few prospects were still drunkenly playing darts, more like arguing over darts. We walked around looking for someone that might be of assistance. No one wanted to go knock on the King's door.

Adam walked behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of cheap whiskey, swigging directly from the bottle. I grimaced at the thought of who else's dirty mouth might've touched that spout but I didn't say anything. He saw me looking at him and offered it to me but I shook my head to decline.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jax shaking an older man lightly. The man, who slightly resembled a young Elvis Presley, shook his head disoriented. Jax put his hand on his shoulder and said something to him. The man rubbed his face and stood up slowly. He looked like he might tip over and Jax reached out a steadying hand.

They walked over to join the rest of us at the bar.

"What in the hell are you kids doing up right now?" he asked squinting at the neon clock behind the bar.

"I told you, Bobby. We need you to call our friends at Charming PD. What's wrong? Hang over kicking your ass already?" Jax replied, laughing at the older man.

"Still drunk," Bobby commented. He turned his squinting eyes to Adam.

"When was the last time you heard from her?"

"I don't know. It was probably around 8:30p. She was totally smashed, pissed off, the usual. We argued; I left. Me and the girls went to grab the car around, what? 3:15a?" he asked me and I nodded.

"Yeah, around 3:15a. Walked up to the house, no lights, door's unlocked, car's gone. She took the spare key. Place was a fucking disaster," he explained.

Bobby nodded, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. I walked behind the bar and handed him a glass of water which he drained immediately. I filled it up again and he smiled.

"Thanks, sugar. Alright, well. Let me make a couple calls. Maybe Rufus over at Lizard's let her sleep it off."

He walked out into the parking lot and started making calls. He took forever.

"You guys want me to go ahead and drop you at home?" Frankie asked.

"No," I answered quickly. "I'm gonna stay until we figure out what's going on."

Kris turned without a word and sought out an unoccupied couch. Right before her face hit the cushion she sat up, startled. "You guys have a blanket or something? I'd rather not have crow eater germs all over my face."

Opie laughed. "Sure, let me grab you one from the back."

I plopped down on a love seat next to her and Adam joined me. I was almost asleep when the clubhouse door opened and the rising sun penetrated the caverned club.

Bobby walked toward us, joined by Officer Unser and a lady I didn't recognize.

My heart sank. Something about the slant of their gait, the way their shoulders hunched… something wasn't right.

Adam and I both stood and the guys hopped off their bar stools to join us.

"Morning, son," Officer Unser greeted Adam. "You mind if we… talk alone for a minute?" he asked, surveying our group. I gave Adam a gentle push toward Officer Unser but he didn't budge.

Adam's voice was tight as a quiver. "Whatever you're gonna say, you might as well just say it. They're gonna find out anyway."

Unser and Bobby shared a look.

The nameless lady spoke. "Adam, I'm sorry, but I really think it would be better if we took this conversation… elsewhere." Her eyes roamed around the clubhouse uncomfortably. Normally I probably would've felt for her, but I just didn't have the energy to care.

"And you are?" asked Adam unkindly.

"I'm sorry about that." She extended a hand. "I'm Ms. Blackmon, Michelle Blackmon - Child Services."

"Excuse me?" Adam recoiled.

The lady looked at Unser for help.

"Son," he started again, looking around at our disheveled group. "Why don't we all just have a seat?" When Ms. Blackmon cleared her throat, he grunted.

"Maybe we can take this outside? You all look like you could use a little fresh air."

We started making our way toward the door and Bobby broke away.

"I'm gonna go grab your pops real quick," he told Jax. Jax just nodded and kept following Unser.

We made our way to one of the picnic tables stationed right outside the door. Adam stayed standing… shifting his weight from foot to foot like he was ready to pounce.

"Adam," the lady started. "Your mom is okay but, there's been an accident."

Adam sagged a little and leaned his hand on the table top for support. I carefully snaked my arm around his waist as he leaned into me.

"Where is she?" he asked, sounding more defeated and tired than any seventeen year old should.

"She's at St. Thomas under observation," Ms. Blackmon continued.

Adam's head whipped up to look at her. "I thought you said she was okay?"

"She is, dear. She is. She's got a little bruising, a couple of cracked ribs. She'll most likely be released tomorrow or the next day."

Adam exhaled in relief.

"Can we see her?" I asked.

Ms. Blackmon and Officer Unser shared a look. About that time, John and Gemma walked hurriedly out of the clubhouse toward us.

John shook Officer Unser's hand and Gemma gave him a curt, but friendly nod.

"Son, I don't really know how to say this, so I'm just gonna say it," Officer Unser started. "Your mom, well, she was in a bad way last night." He looked at Gemma and it was obvious he didn't want to say whatever was about to come out of his mouth.

"Your mom got a little out of hand down at Deer Crossing Saloon. They put her out, called her a cab. You know they don't really keep tabs on folks over there…" he shrugged, at a loss. "Your mom, well she didn't want to wait for the cab. Guess, she, uh, took your car? Did you know that?"

"Yeah," Adam laughed sourly. "I figured it out."

Unser sighed. "Well, about 2-2:15a we get a call; accident over on FM 3009. Bad shit," he says, shaking his head. "Your mom hit a family, head on. Flipped her car, rolled three times," He paused, looking at John and Gemma like they could give him something.

"The family in the car… mom and dad died on impact. Two kids…one of 'em held on til the hospital, died on the table. The little one's still in ICU."

I felt the breath exhale through my lips, but it felt like I was in some kind of nightmare. My brain wasn't processing what Officer Unser had just said.

I looked at Adam as he stood frozen. No one spoke so Ms. Blackmon decided it was a good time for her to do so.

"Your mom is going to be… tied up for a bit," the euphemism came too easily, it was unnatural. "They still need to ask her some questions and there will be an investigation." She paused. "She won't be coming home for… a while."

Finally, Adam thawed and looked at Unser.

"She killed that whole family?" the agony in his voice was excruciating

"There's still hope for the little one. But yeah, kid. She did," Unser confirmed his voice thick.

Adam stepped away from me to pace, cracking his knuckles. Gemma tried to put her arm around him but he slowly backed away.

He lit a cigarette and turned his back to us, face to the sky. Ms. Blackmon made eyes at Unser, silently asking why he was allowing Adam to smoke but Unser just shook his head. Clearly that was the least of Adam's worries right now.

Eventually, he turned back to us, his face ashen.

"So what do you want?" he asked Ms. Blackmon pointedly.

Again, she looked nervously at Unser. I could see the set of Gemma's lips harden, challenging her.

Ms. Blackmon stepped toward him and reached out a hand to place on his shoulder. About mid-way, she thought better of it and brought it back to smooth her bottled blonde hair.

"Well, Adam. You're still technically a minor in this situation and, as such, it's my responsibility to check in with you and figure out the next steps."

"Next steps?" questioned Gemma, confused.

"You see, in cases of neglect-"

"Neglect?" Adam shot back, bewildered. "I'm a grown ass man, there's no neglect."

"I understand your anger, Adam. But technically, the position that your mother has put you in, put herself in, could be, according to certain interpretations of the law, be considered neglect, even if you are seventeen. And, if a judge rules that's the case, you'll be placed in guardianship home."

"Are you talking about a god damn foster care?" Gemma practically shrieked.

Adam, along with the rest of us, stared in disbelief. Was this really happening?

"Temporary, of course," Ms. Blackmon continued. "You'll be eighteen in the summer and then you'd be free to go on your way. We would, of course, provide some social services to help get you on your feet."

"I'm not going to no god damn foster care," Adam seethed.

"Well, unfortunately, you might not have much of a choice. With your mother in custody, whatever income she made won't be available anymore and the moment the lights or water are turned off in the home, you again classify as being neglected."

"I've got a job, lady," he spat. "Who do you think's been keeping the lights on anyway?"

"Officer Unser," Gemma spoke, completely ignoring the empty-headed case worker. "Adam can stay with us until this whole mess gets sorted out. There's no need to make him go somewhere he doesn't want to go."

Somewhere in my brain, I sensed a chain reaction was starting to set off. I could feel the switch ignite.

"Mrs.?" Ms. Blackmon queried.

"Teller. Gemma Teller." She informed her.

"Ah, Mrs. Teller. That's a very generous offer. We, of course, would have to get approval from Mrs. Woodley for her son to enter into your care."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Gemma coughed. "First you accuse her of neglect and now you need her permission? What kind of circus are you running here, lady?"

John clamped an arm on her to keep her from scratching Ms. Blackmon's eyes out. He diverted his attention to Officer Unser.

"Wayne, surely you and Ms.?" John asked.

"Blackmon."

"Surely, you and Ms. Blackmon wouldn't mind giving the boy a few days to visit with his mom and get a plan together. Everyone is still in a little shock here. You can give the boy a few days to sort things out, can't you?"

"Sure, John," Unser agreed though it looked like Ms. Blackmon wanted to argue. "It's been a rough morning." He turned his attention to Adam. "You're on the visitor's list, son. No one else is allowed into see her; just you, her public defender, and Charming PD."

Adam nodded as Gemma scoffed. "Public defender," she hissed.

Unser ignored her. "You need a ride to the hospital, son?"

"We'll take him, Wayne," John offered. I'm sure the Chief's got you working on other things."

A look I didn't understand passed between the two but I couldn't bring myself to care.

Ms. Blackmon looked like she was going to protest but Officer Unser took her by the elbow and led her back to his squad car.

Adam pulled out another cigarette then handed one to me, which I accepted willingly.

He pinched the filter of his so tightly I thought he might crush it.

"Frankie, you mind taking the rest of you kids home? You all look wiped," John requested.

"Yeah. No problem." The guys stood up to move but Jax stayed where he was.

"You too, son. Club house is a mess; you might as well go sleep in your own bed."

Jas shrugged and started toward Frankie's truck. I felt Kris behind me but I didn't want to leave Adam.

"You want me to go with you?" I asked, smoothing an out of place tuft of hair from his face.

He held my hand and met my eyes.

"No. It's okay. You've been awake for more than 24 hours and I know you didn't sleep the night before. Go home. Get some rest. I'll call you when I get shit figured out." The tone of his voice made it sound like he wasn't sure he'd ever figure it out. I couldn't blame him.

"It's gonna be okay," I reassured him before giving him a heartfelt kiss. "Go check on her. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."

He laughed. "Right."

"I mean it. These kinds of things… they tend to wake people up a bit. Go see her. We'll figure out all that social services shit later. You know I love my research" I added with a playful wink.

He laughed a genuine laugh that time. "My little bookworm," he replied, hugging me tightly to him. "I'll call you later," he whispered, gave me a kiss on the head and then turned back to John and Gemma.

I watched them walk to Gemma's SUV and pull out of the lot before I finally made my way to Frankie's truck.


End file.
